Ramblings

2008-06-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

It snowed in the mountains last night and throughout today! It is June 10th. I feel like it is the neverending winter!

We are off to Florida for a little vacation. I'm praying that the warm weather and rest will lift my spirits!

The lawsuit settlement came in and repairs have begun on the front porches and reroofing our townhomes. It will feel like a new house by the time they are finished :-)

Claire lost her two bottom baby teeth. She is only four, not even 4 1/2 years old... My do kids grow up quickly!

We have decided to run the Hood-to-Coast this year, Brian & I, on my dad's team. It was a lifetime ago (1999) when I last ran this race! Pre-teaching stint & pre-kids! Hope my body remembers how to do it and doesn't punish me for putting it through this race again... Actually, I'm excited and it is a fun, crazy race!

Elliot has decided to wake up in the middle of the night for hours at a time. I think he's trying to stop napping which is fine, but that doesn't explain why even without a nap he needs/wants to be awake at night! Consequently, we are all tired and a bit grumpy around here with good reason. Lack of sleep really puts a damper on the race training too...

I'm trying to decide whether or not to renew my teaching license. I'm trying to figure out if I really do want to have a regular teaching job again. I've subbed a few days at my old middle school in French this past school year. The pace is much slower than I remember from my private college-prep high school teaching gig days. My expectations were set high and if I taught at a public school (chances are likely) I'd have to adjust my goals... My kids are little still so I know I have a couple years to decide... Decisions to make for myself that affect my family.

2008-01-27T21:07:00.000-08:00

My last post was full of typos... This post will probably be the same! It is hard to concentrate at times on little sleep and writing seems to be one of many things I'd like to do with my little free time of the day.

My OB recounted a story to me of a women he knew who described the difference between having two and three children. She said that with two there was sometimes free time for oneself. With three, the free time disappeared. I guess it depends on how much you value your free time and how much you value spending time raising your kids. It does make me wonder if I really want three...

I'm not sure how I manage to ever sit down sometimes... My lists are long for what I "should" accomplish around the house. I can't get it all done! Today my daughter and I cleaned our kitchen laminate floors and the tiled entryway together. That was a fun chore to do together as we imagined we were princesses skating on ice (our towels beneath our feet as we mopped up the Shaklee cleaner she had just sprayed everywhere). But afterwards, I needed to get out of the house for a walk. I took Elliot in the stroller and walked fast for 30 minutes. It felt great and the weather was refreshing and not as cold as it has been.

Now I'm sitting here sipping some tea trying to decide if my throat is sore enough to go see if I have that strep throat... Ugh! I don't want to half to take antibiotics so I've been pounding the C, Zinc, Nutriferon, Multi-vitamin and anything else I think might hold it off... We'll see how I feel tomorrow, but it does feel like it's pounding right now...so sad! But I'll have to have the doc check out my ankle too. I sprained it in the beginning of December and it's still sore. I've heard sprains take forever to heal so since I'm able to walk, climb stairs, etc and only experience pain when I jar it in some abnormal way.

Well, enough for now... Except I will say I've had fun planning for Claire's 4th birthday party. It's a Tinkerbell themed party and since she's so excited, it makes me more excited. It was the same for Christmas. She's finally caught on to the fun of these events so I get caught up too--we didn't really budget for our kids' birthday parties, but if we had, I know I would have definitely blew that budget category! Oh well... It'll be fun and I'm excited for her excitement.

Both kids slept long and hard last night and didn't wake up for over 10 hours! We can't wait 'til that happens regularly...

2007-12-29T18:19:00.000-08:00

We had our first Christmas at home this year. Usually, we spend Christmas Eve night at my parents' house, then open presents there, eat a nice breakfast and go to Brian's mom's in the afternoon. This year is was all different. Since Brian's mom lives near us, she and his sister came to our house for breakfast, we then went to open presents at my parents' house and had dinner there. It was all different. The best different was being at our home when the kids woke up and wanted to know if Santa had eaten all the cookies. Claire who is almost 4 really got into it this year so that made it fun for all of us! Elliot who is just recently 2 loved it too! By the end of the day and after opening presents three times, it did get a bit exhausting for us all...

Today is our sixth anniversary and our kids are asleep in bed sick with colds and we're about to have hamburgers and French sparkling wine to celebrate! Too life, love and as much peace as is possible for us and for others as life transpires...

Happy New Year!

2007-09-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

Again it has been a long time since my last post. I am tired and I caught the little cold my kids picked up from somewhere.

We have had a lot of change in the past few months. I realized today that at the time of my last post, I was probably pregnant. While on my trip to Chicago, I had many separate conversations about whether or not to have three children or two. Little did I know the decision had already been made. We found out a couple weeks after my homecoming and were both pleasantly surprised. Brian was very happy immediately and I'll admit it took me a couple hours to come around....

Unfortunately, it seemed like just as soon as we'd adjusted to having three kids, I started the miscarriage process. Yes, it was and still is a process. It seems as though for the past three weeks my body has been trying to return from the pregnant to non-pregnant state. What I believe is that my body really wants to be pregnant! It's hard to explain, but my pregnancy hormone (hCG) is still in my blood. My doctor feared ectopic or molar at first and still hasn't ruled out molar, but I have weekly blood tests until my hCG level is at zero. That's the physical side of things.

The emotional side of things has been tougher! Why us? We were successful twice so of course we/I didn't think a miscarriage could/would happen to us.... Did I do something to cause this? Why did God take this baby to heaven? I've told so many people I was pregnant and now I have to tell them otherwise...this brings tears to their eyes as well as mine. And in addition, I hear immediately about how they too (most of the time) have also experienced a miscarriage at some point. The tears well-up in their eyes in an instant as if it just happened again for them as I share my story. A miscarriage at any stage is emotionally painful. I wonder if God wanted me to be granted the gift of empathy for women with similar experiences and that is one reason this baby got to see heaven before us.?.

What has been very healing is my daughter's ability at 3 1/2 years old to accept that "sometimes babies get too sick to come out so God takes them to heaven." That is what we told her shortly after we learned I was miscarrying. She had been so excited and curious about the baby since the day we told her asking daily questions about whether the baby was getting bigger. We wanted to tell her what was happening right away. What a blessing our children have been to Brian and I during this ordeal. They bring us such joy during a trying time. Thank you for them, O God! Help us all to heal and grieve and share our feelings with others! Amen.

2007-07-21T22:41:00.000-07:00

Where to begin? I read through my old posts. I remember making an effort to write about Claire's actions thinking that some day maybe she'll read it. Well, poor Elliot won't have anything to read about his life between age 1 and 2! I plan to write to him in a journal like I've been doing for Claire since her 2nd birthday.

Both my children have entered new phases lately! Claire at almost 3 1/2 has entered the "why?" phase and Elliot now readily uses "i don't want to" and "no"! Yikes! My days are long if we don't have enough activities to distract :-)

I am going to Chicago for the Jewels by Park Lane convention this Thursday through Sunday. It's my first trip away from my kids and I think I'm ready. At first I had a little guilt about leaving, but as the day approaches, I'm now planning on using this time to refresh, relax and reflect! I'm thankful for my husband who encouraged me to go and is so good with our kids!

Two kids have been challenging.... Oh, how different my life was with only one child... However, more things have complicated our life than a second child... I know we are so blessed to have two healthy children who make us smile and exhaust us and enrich our lives in more ways than we're aware! Unfortunately, at this point in our life it's easy to focus on the hardships... I know "this too shall pass" and many of the situations I will list have definite ending dates, though some do not. We are transitioning and need patience...something I know I always need more of!

Since Elliot was born, our town house development started suing the original builders, we bought a second car before we knew about the law suit or knew that our hoa fees would increase from $90/month to $200/month!!! Money we don't have! I started a new job with Jewels by Park Lane that has been more fun than Shaklee and also more profitable....However, any new business has its own set of expenses that it's hard to account for so how much of a profit is hard to know... Brian's job has become more challenging, but in a good way, but can take more energy and time too. My mom-in-law moved to the westside last week so that's a big change for us and we're still figuring out what that will mean........

Okay, before I say any more, it's time to quit this entry and rest my fingers and mind. Hope to write more later and report on my convention trip! I love planes and flying and I know it'll bring back memories of my many trips to France! Good night.

2007-04-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

Today Elliot is 16 months old! He is a talker, a charmer and loves to be picked up by anyone he thinks looks nice. He's almost running sometimes too which is fun to watch. He loves playing "ring around the rosie..." with Claire and me. It is fun to see how excited he gets to play with Claire. He is such a cute boy with his beautiful blue eyes and a smile that permeates his entire body.

Claire is potty training so well right now. We have ventured out into stores too and she has gone in the toilets there. Oh, how proud she is, when she has success! How proud we are too! I know we have a ways to go, but she is doing a great job. Another thing she's been working on is getting dressed by herself. Some kids I know change clothes several times a day without a problem, but Claire is just finding this to be a challenge she's ready to take on... Hooray, for little successes.

As for Brian, he's busy with a software change over at the city and as project manager for this multi-million dollar project, he has a lot to organize. It's a challenge, though, and he does love a challenge!

My Jewels by Park Lane is growing like crazy! I have five parties between April 23rd and May 4th! I am excited to have a group of three women under me who are fabulous and having fun doing the business too. Wow!

Our house still only has one room painted... We are taking a break all the while know we'd love to get it done... Patience is a virtue. There is a time for everything...

Well, it is late and I should sleep while my children are sleeping!

Pray for us that we'll be able to meet our challenges with patience and joy... Amen

2007-03-09T16:53:00.000-08:00

It is Friday and what a week it has been! On Monday, Claire decided to use her potty chair and has successfully done so every night this week!!! Hooray!!! That's in addition to being sick so I'm so proud and impressed! We'll deal with other times of the day and going "#2" later. For now we'll take what we can get!

Congratulations, Shannon & Steve, on the birth of your son! I keep checking in to see how soon you'll post on your blog post-birth :-)

We've started painting our house inside too. It's a great color and it will really change the feel of our home! A new home for less money :-)

We visited the French-American School on Tuesday. It was awesome, but it's soooo spendy. If we can save enough, we want to send Claire & Elliot there for kindergarten-5th grade... We'll see how disciplined we can be.

2007-02-26T09:42:00.000-08:00

My daughter is three years old and it's time to start applying for pre-schools! Yes, applying, attending Open Houses, getting put on waiting lists! It's crazy that at this young age of three she has to go through a similar process as applying for university! Urgh!

We have three schools we're thinking about right now. Two are co-ops, one is not. It seems like a lot of work considering she'll only be in class 5 hours a week (2 1/2 hours twice a week).

The fourth option that I've dreamed about is enrolling her in the French-American International School of Portland. Right now five half-days would cost us $9930 a year ($1100 a month) compared to the $85 a month the co-op would charge. Granted the hours in class are significantly different... A half-day at the F.A.I.S is at least five hours (I'm guessing here) so I'm looking at 25 hours vs. 5 hours a week. I am a (simple) math girl so after doing the comparison the FAIS is still over twice as expensive as a co-op. It seems a little steep for a pre-school, but ideally, I know it is the best time for our children to learn a second language--"the earlier the better!"

So the next question is how much do I really believe in bilingual education!!! What would I be willing to sacrifice so our children could attend a school that would help them learn French now... Would they use this skill in the future? Would it be for me instead of them? I love French. I know that doesn't mean my children will love French too. It's a similar scenario to I like to go to church. Will my children like to go to church when they are adults?

Two similar situations, but one option doesn't require that we spend $10,000 a year to impose what we believe in on our children...

How many people send their children to FAIS and actually have to sacrifice their way of life? Or how many have the money waiting in savings so they can pay their bill in full?

I think we missed the application deadline for this year anyway at FAIS so this internal debate I'm having with myself is probably moot, but if the opportunity arises for next year or if they extended the deadline for us to enroll Claire in the fall, I'd be tempted to do it. What do you think, Brian??? What do other people think???

I know Brian and I believe in education and do mind having our student loan debt, but we were both products of public schools (and very very educated parents) and we are doing fine... Maybe we should save that money for a trip to France instead... We all might get more out of it--who knows?

2007-02-02T10:45:00.000-08:00

The days fly by! Elliot is walking and now13 1/2 months old! Claire is turning 3 on Monday and in size 5/6 shirts and size 4 pants! Crazy! We're having her birthday party this weekend with lots of her friends and little siblings of her friends so it'll be wild, and fortunately, not at our house.

I'm planning on painting this end of winter and hope to be done by the end of spring, but I really have no idea of how picky, slow or fast I'll be. My goal is to paint while kids are asleep at night, but of course, that'll be 1-2 hours until I need to go to bed! I know I could ask for help, but in the beginning I want to try it on my own. I also want to get red curtains for our main floor south side windows. Can't wait to get that change made!

So...with two kids, two home-based businesses, a house and husband to take care of, and myself...life is definitely full and never boring. I think I'm handling things well, but I'd love to get 6 hours of straight sleep each night. Then, I think life would seem less hectic.

Yes, two businesses. I'm still doing Shaklee, but I'm really doing Jewels by Park Lane. It's fun and more lucrative than Shaklee...and my husband likes it better too. That definitely makes a big difference in how excited I get about "working."

Well, Claire's diving into her cupcakes for tomorrow's party so I'd better scoot.

Enjoy the beautiful spring flowers coming up from the ground. I can't wait for the first spring colors to arrive :-)

2007-01-16T07:26:00.000-08:00

It's snowing and the bride behind our house is covered in cars who have gotten stuck! We're not driving anywhere today!!! Fortunately, Brian could take the new car to work... What a mess out there!

2006-11-17T13:50:00.000-08:00

Last night on my way home from my Shaklee meeting I go to (we meet at Tom's Pancake House in Beaverton), I checked out the new New Seasons Market at Cedar Hills Crossing (another aside...Claire is in the background scolding her brother "don't fais pas ca." he's playing with the lamp on the table and has yet to pull it off the table, but likes to slide it around. claire's finding the scolding role to be her job these days. my scolding tends to be in French so it's interesting Claire choses to do the same...it's cute, kinda funny too).

Anyway, back to New Seasons...I ran into a former colleague from the private high school where I used to teach French. This lady teaches Physics and Chemistry, used to work for Intel, has a daughter...She's a nice lady. We never talked much while I was there, she came during my last year/semester, but I always thought I'd like to get to know her better. Well, she unloaded on me about how stressful the school year already seemed to be...how she didn't think the principal was very flexible, how there were too many assemblies and forums and teachers and students seemed frustrated and burned out! This conversation made me really glad I could go home and not have to wake up at 6am, cart my kids off somewhere, then get to school! I made the best choice for me and my family... (actual post date 11/17/06)

2006-11-16T14:49:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday's bazaar was pretty busy, but not as busy as I would have liked! We gave out lots of free samples of Shaklee's Basic-H2 so maybe we'll hear back from people later... All the vendors were excited to be there so that was a fun energy to feed off of!

I realized how tiring it can be to meet lots of new people when my present reality involves taking care of two small children. They need their alone time so I don't have to interact with them face to face for 5 hours like working a bazaar requires. I love meeting people, don't get me wrong...it's not something I've been building up endurance towards lately!!!

I have another bazaar this Saturday with a new crew of gals! It should be fun!!! This Monday night is another bazaar, but also a fundraiser for a pre-school so hopefully that'll bring a different crowd of customers too!

Shaklee's not exactly a one-time fun type of gift. It's more a general, long-term emphasis on good health. Sometimes, people just don't want to get healthy... I love my ice cream & potato chips too, but I like knowing that if I'm "bad" one day with my food choices, at least I took some high quality vitamins that may make up for my choice to yes, in fact, eat potato chips after I've just eaten a bowl of chocolate ice cream...hee! hee!

Elliot is almost walking two-three steps at a time more than one time a day! He'll be 11 months old tomorrow! Wow! He can really book it up the stairs too and I may have to get that gate out to block him... So far he hasn't tried to come down by himself. When he starts doing that, I'll need to be extra vigilant!!!

Claire is skipping afternoon naps....or maybe I'm allowing her to skip them so she doesn't go too bed too late at night!!! We get a grumpy girl at night, but at least she doesn't go to bed a 11pm! Potty training isn't even a daily occurrence so we'll see when that happens...maybe after the holidays.

Wow! One week 'til Thanksgiving... I'm excited for Christmas... It'll be nice this year. Last year was a blur since Elliot was born December 17th... I think I slept through the end of December! Then it rained and rained....35 days straight I think from December 18th until whenever. We had the best view from our 9th floor hospital room window of the storm coming in from the south. It snowed, was stormy, then rained! I can put into words how beautiful it was to have a newborn in my arms and my husband at my side in the warmth and safety of a hospital room... Babies are miracles and so are beautiful snow storms when everyone is safe and snug at home...

2006-11-10T22:17:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I'm participating in a 5 hour bazaar with 12 different vendors at Hillsboro UMC 9-2pm. My mom and I will be "doing Shaklee." We'll probably omit the little dance Claire does when she says she's "doing Shaklee." I'm so pumped for tomorrow! It took a long time to get ready. I don't do this every day so it was a lot of prep work. I'll update tomorrow on how it went! At least I'll get to meet a lot of people....At most, I could gain a couple more customers or a business builder...or two...or three...

2006-11-03T08:21:00.000-08:00

Neighbors moving is a hard thing... Our next door neighbor told me she was moving to Washington with only a week's notice. Her life is changing.... She separated from her husband in late August or early September and now is packing up her things and her 3 year-old son and moving away. Neighbors separating is a hard thing too. I think of their son and how he'll live. It's crazy how angry it makes me. There wasn't any clear reason for their separation.... She was maybe tired of staying home so much (she did work one day a week so she did have an outlet)... Maybe it was his schedule of working 3-11 that made family life hard.... I don't know and neither of them want to share.

Urgh! I heard their garage door open and I went out to say "good-bye and good luck." She came over the other night to check her email, but we really didn't visit. It was awkward.

In my ideal world, I'd be surrounded by homes with families who had children about the same ages as mine and the mothers stayed home with their kids. The other moms and I would share things like babysitting or recipes or feelings. We'd help each other with small things that would make the day a little easier. Right now in our neighborhood people are moving. People work. Kids are older. A lady I know who is home runs a daycare so the little kids at her house at her own (they are in elementary school).

I think I need to live in the present, in the modern world, not in the t.v. world of 1950's suburbia. If we lived somewhere else there would be new problems. I have two great kids and I'm glad I'm home to raise them and love them and feed them and watch Elliot almost take his first step! Claire is learning how to sing French Christmas songs on her own.... I admit, yes, I have started playing Christmas music during the day :-) Only I could teach her some French... I don't know any daycares who do that.

I started Shaklee to earn money to put Claire in the French American school here in town. Well, I'm not earning enough, but I realized that I don't want to put my daughter in school for 7 hours a day at age 3 1/2. That's too young for that many school hours...I realize that I'm teaching her French too...maybe not in an academic setting, but still, she's learning..... Yesterday she looked out the window and said "Il pleut" (it's raining) without prompting.

So goals change, life changes and that is part of keeps us fresh. Now I'd like to do Shaklee to earn money, but not necessarily for French school....maybe to save to be able to move into a neighborhood that has more little children and stay-at-home moms and someday, a nice extended vacation in France.

2006-10-31T15:53:00.000-08:00

First of all....I just spent way too much on Shaklee products in preparation for 3 bazaars and 1 home show coming up soon! I love all the products so it was hard to narrow it down!

Both kids are sleeping......ahhhh....I sit down to write....then my mom calls asking to pick up Krispy Kreme pumpkin donuts for tonight....yum.... Oh yeah, I was going to write something profound....well, maybe just write something!

I remember that I originally started this blog because my husband was really getting into blogging and I felt left out! Also cuz I had a daughter under 1 year old and needed to have an outlet to connect to a bigger audience than just my baby!

Then in an effort to establish a professional link to my current life as a stay-at-home mom and my former life as a French teacher, (and try and fulfill more of our state's inane requirements for educators) I decided I was going to document my daughter's verbal patterns and progressions.... Well, let's just say that the title of this blog "Ramblings" just about covers the actual topic of this blog.... professional? not really.... unfocused mind chatter? yeah, pretty much :-)

The other day my friend Ronda (aka Rolanda and her blog is linked to my blog) wrote a post on Oct. 29th about having kids and also choosing not to have kids. It made me think back to the time when I didn't have kids as I often do, although it's a little foggy at times. Other times it is as clear as day. I remember traveling to France and through Europe on my own. Now we talk about going, but it's hard to think about how little toddlers would handle the culture shock--although they'd probably do better than some adults!--and hours of walking around cities. I think having kids requires me to think differently....Maybe instead of a city trip we'd plan to stay in a rental home that had a yard, a smaller city with the same feel of foreign culture, but less walking and fewer cars and crazy bus drivers. Activities may be limited, or maybe just variations of the same, when kids are involved.

When I am tired, it would be nice to know I could count on a full 7-8 hour night of sleep... Unfortunately, I can't count on that unless I ignore crying children (some nights). Fortunately, for me though, I am blessed to be able to rest at home during the day with my kids who are usually mellow and tired too if we all woke up a bunch of times throughout the night.

I'm not sure I quite know how to respond to Ronda's post. I think it's hard to imagine what life will be like with kids before they are actually in your life. I know I had one idea and truly my brain doesn't tend to be the best for abstract thought, but I'd say that imagining how life would be different 20 times a day probably doesn't actually capture the actual changes....am I making sense? Yes, my activities do change when I have a little one in tow...even a simple act of putting on my shirt can seem complicated!...but to have two little ones looking up to me and learning how to say "thank you" or compliments "you did a great, great good job, Mommy" produces feelings in me that are hard to describe.

I don't think parenthood is for everyone. That's fine! And it's good to know that before entering into marriage like "Jerry" from Ronda's post said. I'm grateful for my kids, but I don't think I'm better or worse than anyone who chooses not to have kids.

I totally understand people who choose not to have kids. It is a lot of work that some people don't want or can't handle. For me, I always knew I wanted kids (well, I wasn't so sure about the childbirth part of it all, but it came and went pretty easily...easily enough to know I could have another). I understand the environmental issues and impact overpopulation can have, but I guess I'm not enough of an environmentalist to forfit an opportunity to grow my family. My mom said something I thought was profound.... She said "having kids forces you to be creative in a different way than you would if you didn't have kids." As I said before, activities become variations of the same. It's not that one way is better than another....just a variation. If I believe my mom, I could expand that thought to define myself as not so creative already so I needed to have children to expand the creative side of my brain..... Who knows?

2006-10-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, our former pastor came to our house. I wasn't looking forward to it because we didn't know the agenda or purpose of her visit. She came to apologize for aspects of her personality that may have offended. She also dove a little deeper and said that she had worked on issues related to the fact that she was raised by alcoholics, but that some problem areas were coming back. I appreciated her reflection. I think anyone who was raised by alcoholics must have to work hard every day to figure out what's okay and wrong behavior. In her case, she brought up boundaries. It's true....too many phone calls (in the past), pushing her agenda.

I didn't say much during the meeting. I mainly listened. I think that was the right approach. She was there to apologize and we didn't need to break her down anymore. I have lots of people in my life who I can talk to who I know listen. I'm not sure she would have listened...really listened. I want her to work on herself and not try to fix my concerns. Brian spoke generally for both of us and mentioned one specific example that frustrated him--the way leadership meetings were run.

We had a lot of build-up to the meeting and then nothing much happened. We expected a variety of approaches to come our way, but she opted for the apologetic route. Honestly, it'll take some time to go back to that church and for now Brian's really happy playing the handbells. I'm enjoying reading the Bible again and hearing a good sermon. We're moving on and happier and that's a good thing!

Happy 28th Birthday, Anna (my sister)!

2006-10-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

Interested in local government? My husband is and he created a new blog called "Government Matters: But Good Government Matters More." Here's the address http://www.govmatters.net/

It's been a busy couple of weeks, but slow at the same time. It's hard to explain. Today we decided to take a rest day and honestly, I'm still in my pjs as well as the kids!

Next Saturday morning our former pastor is going to come to our house to pay us a visit. We aren't sure what she wants to talk to us about. I think everyone discusses and generally agree on what problems she created at the church, but talking to her doesn't seem to fix anything. Therefore, the congregation is in agreement, but she (probably being told what the concerns are) can't change. So, it'll be an interesting meeting. I hope we can help her in some way....really! I don't like the feeling that we abandoned our church congregation. The members with whom we discussed our departure seemed to truly understand our reasons. We didn't, however, and yes, purposefully, discuss our choice to leave with our pastor. We had tried over the past couple of years, and it didn't help us feel any better about staying. Please pray for us!

2006-10-02T17:41:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my birthday! I love October, I always have.... I hope it's a great month and so far it is starting out to be an outrageous October!

We like our new church. A member of our old church called yesterday to let us know we are missed and that our pastor said during her sermon, "I know that I have a loose tongue, that is my weakness, and I wish that I could apologize to the people present and to the people who are no longer at the church that were offended by me." I can't say that that is the main reason we left. I can say that it's nice to listen to sermons that spend more time talking about Bible verses and application than how much the pastor is sorry for offending people!!!!

2006-09-26T18:55:00.000-07:00

We're getting our family portrait taken this Saturday so last weekend I went shopping for new outfits. I think we'll look cute, but I know it'll depend on how happy everyone is the day and time of the photo shoot!

I'm not a person who enjoys shopping. The only kind of shopping that I really enjoy is grocery shopping. Anything to do with food, I love. I haven't been as excited about cooking as I usually am, but life is too busy right now.

I love this fall weather!!! Cool nights, warm days, blue skies and beautiful yellow, red and orange trees!

Yes, for those of you following our church saga...we have switched churches. I'm getting used to it still, but Brian's stepped right up and joined the hand bell choir. It's the same church where we exchanged wedding vows five years ago (this December) so it will always have good memories associated with it.

I'm still plugging away at my Shaklee business. My mom hosted a Cinch party last week and two ladies came. The liked the Cinch tea so each of them bought a box. I sold some lotion and a soy candle that I had had forever so that was nice to see disappear. Here's my Cinch website www.cinchplan.com/sarah_kennedy for more info on that great tea!

Brian's started his own little business too helping set up and support/host United Methodist Church websites. He set up Coos Bay's website. It sounds like there is a great need for that service out there! Way to go, Brian!

2006-09-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

Wow! There are a lot of people hitting my blog who are looking up Cinch Plan or Cinch Club. It's the cool new weight loss plan from Shaklee! I'm still nursing so I'm not doing all the steps, but I have tried the tea and the bars. My mom is doing the plan and so far she loves it! I hope you are finding what you're looking for! I just created my own Shaklee web site and included is my own Cinch Club web site too. Good luck!!!

Lately, Claire has been hitting Elliot. We don't quite know what to do. We know she loves him, we know she doesn't want to make us unhappy or mad, but her self-control is lacking. It's weird, but normal, I guess. I hope this is a short phase, but to quote the book The Girlfriend's Guide to Toddlers, this period really is "psychological warfare!" Later, the book says parents look back on this period as "spontaneity." We'll see about that!

2006-08-29T18:40:00.000-07:00

When my daughter was born, I was given a baby book that had enough pages to write about her first year of life, month by month (besides all the other pages that are in that book). I made it a point to write as much about her first year of life as possible. So when I found out we were having a son for our second child, I purposefully went to the book store in search of a baby book that only had enough space to write about the first year. There are books out there that have space enough to write about five years! I decided I would be diligent enough to write one year's worth and so far I've been doing just that.

However, since my daughter is now two, I have started writing to her in a real journal. I don't write in it every month, but when I do, I date the page and start it with "Dear Claire," Then I mainly write to her about all the cute things she does and says right now and I try to avoid the things that make me want to tear my hair out (even though someday she might appreciate reading that part too!)...

So I will try and do the same with Elliot. When he turns two, I'll start a "Dear Elliot" journal and someday read to him from it if he's curious.

A couple days ago, I was in tears about a situation at our church. I am still bothered by it, but I do feel more at peace today than just a few days ago. I know people are praying in our community and in my Bible study group so I hope more of our church community will feel at peace soon.

We will probably be leaving our church before the end of September. I haven't felt right about being a member there since our current pastor arrived a couple of years ago and started rubbing our church members the wrong way especially in one-on-one conversations in person and on the phone. This situation does involve our pastor and unfortunately, it's not out of character for her. I have not felt fed spiritually by her sermons or at ease with going to her with my concerns. Brian couldn't even tell her about his mom's recent battle with cancer saying "I think she'd make it worse."

I love our church members and fall easily into conversation with many of them. I think that is what has kept us there....

I have agreed to help with a Flea Market event where I can sell my Shaklee items, then after that, I think we need to say good-bye.

Please pray that we will feel at home at another church very soon.

2006-08-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

We arrived home today from our 10 day trip to San Francisco for the Shaklee convention and then to Coos Bay to visit some friends. It was a great trip, but it's nice to be home too!

The Shaklee convention was awesome! 10,000 people (not counting all the babies & kids that attended too) in the same room pumped up and ready to celebrate Shaklee's 50th birthday provided great motivation for me to keep doing what I'm doing and sharing and selling Shaklee products and the business with as many people as possible.

I am excited to share that Shaklee has developed there own weight loss plan called "Cinch" and they have come out with some new house cleaners in their "Get Clean" line. Now we can buy non-toxic wipes & 100% bio-degradable fabric softener sheets from Shaklee.

www.cinchclub.com has tons of info and resources on the new weight loss plan
www.shaklee.com has new info about the improved cleaners, "Get Clean"

Or view videos and powerpoints at the following links:

Cinch Presentation
http://library.shaklee.net/?category=Weight+Management&col=Product&country=VVNB&i=1&p=U04%3D&r=S0VZ&sort=title&type=Presentations&u1=col&u2=category&u3=type

Get Clean Presentation
http://library.shaklee.net/?category=Home+Care&col=Product&country=VVNB&i=1&p=U04%3D&r=S0VZ&sort=title&type=Presentations&u1=col&u2=category&u3=type

Shaklee also has great offers right now for people interested in starting a Shaklee business. If you know anyone interested in joining the Shaklee team, please let me know!

September 1st I will be getting my very own Shaklee web page so it will make ordering products by credit cards possible. I will send the link soon!

Shaklee is a very exciting company that is very socially concious too. I am proud to be part of Shaklee because our CEO and Chairman, Roger Barnett, has big plans to help change the world. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to put Shaklee's good works on the same level as the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation in terms of solving some of the world's malnutrition issues. Of course, we will have to wait and see.

Thank you for reading this email! I hope the links are helpful too!

Wishing you all a happy, healthy end of summer and beginning to the new school year!
Sarah

2006-08-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

My house cleaner came again yesterday. She came once last month too and brought a lady with her. She uses Shaklee cleaners so my house doesn't smell like a chemical bath. She's also a jazz singer too. Here's her website www.carleesmith.com (for music) & www.carleesmith.com/ccc for her cleaning business Carlee's Custom Cleaners.

We are leaving soon for San Francisco then Coos Bay after the Shaklee Convention and we'll be gone lone enough to need someone to help me water and feed the cat. Details.

I'm so excited about the convention. We have our hotels booked! We/I just need to make sure we have enough clothes for the trip!

This is the last week of music at Clouds Hill Farm camp.

2006-08-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

Well, Elliot slept a full 8 hours in a row in Claire's room while she was away at Grandma's. It was glorious! I woke up wondering if he was okay after five or so hours, but I didn't dare go in there for fear he'd smell me and wake up! It'll be nice when he can do that more regularly.

Claire's schedule always gets thrown off when she spends the night elsewhere or spends lots of time away from home. She went to bed late and woke up late and isn't wanting to take a nap now since she's had very late naps the past couple of days. Oh well... It's a small price to pay to have a little r&r from our daughter.

She's been enjoying going to Sunflower Montessori pre-school. I dropped her off there this morning and took Elliot with me to Clouds Hill Farm where he crawled around on the grass and I played my fiddle with William from the Wicky Pickers. He's a funny guy and we play funny music for the folk dance teacher, Heidi.

I'm looking forward to the weekend, having Brian home, having time to relax. I better get those dishes done. My personality type description says I don't like to do the hard things, I'd rather have fun... I'd agree, although it's probably common to other personality types too!

2006-08-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

Claire's spending the night at Grandma-Great's house with my mom and grandma. Elliot's watching me type and going to push the buttons at any minute. I had a headache all afternoon so that was a little annoying. I think I dehydrated myself yesterday and I'm paying for it today.

Well, I was just reading my last few posts and realized that Claire's last attempt to potty in the toilet was in May. Maybe I did scare her away from it by telling everyone she had gone once. I hope she tries again soon, but I don't want to push her.

Elliot is crawling now with vigor so that's fun. His sleep schedule is a little off though. Time to go...

2006-07-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

Take an Enneagram test!!! I'm a 7. Brian's a 1. What are you?

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

2006-07-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's almost August.... Both kids are asleep and it's 10am. Elliot went down for his morning nap... He sleeps like his daddy. He falls asleep quickly! Claire takes a lot more time to fall asleep and usually wants to eat or drink something before she can drift off to sleep. When she was Elliot's age she was still nursing to sleep. Elliot almost prefers to suck his thumb. He likes me or whoever to hold or snuggle with him while he's falling to sleep, but doesn't need to nurse to sleep. Claire would take (and still does) lots of time to fall asleep. Elliot seems to know when he's tired and doesn't waste any time catching his "zzzz"s.

Lately I've been reading about Enneagrams. It turns out I'm a Seven. Brian is a One. My mom is a definite 2 (maybe an unhealthy 2?). I'm trying to figure out what Anna is. I think she might be a 6. She and I haven't been connecting lately. She's busy with massage school and working on her feelings. Sevens (that's me) tend to not like to focus on feelings.... I keep busy so I don't have to sit with my feelings.

Inner chatter! That describes me. Also, failure to complete projects, not sure what I'm doing is the "right" thing so I do many things to keep my options open... ie. Subbing (I want to add another school district to my one this school year...only French, but still another school to put on my resume), Shaklee business, Mom.... Order of importance not revealed in that last list.

The Enneagram book The Wisdom of the Enneagram The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types is very enlightening. It recommends that meditation would be good for me. I have thought that, but letting myself be with my feelings and thoughts for too long seems almost impossible! Perhaps when our kids are older and I get more unbroken sleep I will give it more of an honest try.

This book really came to me at the right time. I've been struggling with some feelings about what happened in my past...I can't know everything that happened in my past, but it's helping me explain why I am how I am. For example, I've been saying to Claire a lot lately "I'll take care of you." She is 2 1/2. When I read that Sevens' "Lost Childhood Message" is "You will be taken care of," I was pretty surprised.... I guess somewhere along the line my mom or dad didn't take care of me how I needed to be taken care of. I can remember a specific time when I was in my pre-adolescent years, but it probably happened between between 2 and 4 years of age too. Very interesting.

It discusses how I might keep busy so I don't get trapped thinking about my pain. I think this is true. I know my parents both loved me and I was provided for, so not to dwindle my own experience or troubles of youth, so I had it pretty good, probably better than most. However, it is very fascinating how much truth and clarification this book is able to provide for me.

Well, I'm done sitting with my feelings for now.... I want to read more and yes, I should probably get those dishes put in the dishwasher!

10:38am and my kids are still asleep.

2006-06-02T15:56:00.000-07:00

Both kids are sleeping....well...... at least I hope my 26 month old is on her way to sleep after we tried for about an hour, rocking, my leaving her on her bed, my coming back and finding she'd pooped her diaper, then leaving again, then finding another poopy diaper ten minutes later...... We had a good morning. My son slept in until 9:30 am, then napped again for an hour, and is now working on another nap!!! Claire and I had some good time alone together.

It's muggy and never cool enough in our house. Someday we'll splurge for AC.... at least I think!

Yesterday I had a sad day, but thanks to my husband coming home a little early and a church meeting in the evening where I had some empathetic ears of people who have "been there done that" I do feel better.

Major construction is happening right outside our house on the main street. They're tearing up the road so it's quite a show!

Well, I'm going to sip some coffee and do a little crossword before the youngins' awake!

2006-05-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

We had a monumental event occur with my 2 year old yesterday. At church Claire told/asked me that she wanted to go pipi in the toilet! I took off her diaper and placed her on the little toilet in the nursery and plop, a little poop came out. It seemed to frighten her a little so she wanted off right away. I wiped her bottom and put her diaper back on and haven't stopped telling everyone including her about this great accomplishment! I can't believe I could be so amazed by such a routine thing! I need to not overdo the praise cuz I might scare her from trying again! It was cool that she asked without prompting!

I'm doing more with Shaklee now. I found a weekly meeting here on the westside that I've been attending regularly. It'll be a great informal place to invite curious friends and guests to from now on! I've had a couple make-up parties too which have resulted in some new sales from former customers. I hope to do more soon! I'm going to host one a month and hope that other people will host shows for me so I'm doing 2-3 shows a month total. When Elliot is a year, I'm going to try and do more, but until then, slow and steady is just my speed! I am looking forward to finding another person who wants to grow a business and earn $500 or more a month with me...I know they are out there waiting for me to find them!

2006-04-06T15:04:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I lost my cool with my two year old... It happens, but I hate it when it does. She's now sound asleep and will probably wake up happy and cute... However, what am I teaching her about how to handle her frustration if I choose to solve mine by yelling at her!!! I can pat myself on the back cuz it doesn't happen every day, nor every week, just occasionally... Urgh!

Before that incident she was telling me that poop comes out of her bottom and goes into the toilet! Wow! No wonder she can be frustrated! She's learning so many things right now and I have to have patience with her... She's not potty-trained, but she's been liking to run around naked and I'll frequently ask if she'd like to go pee-pee in the toilet.

2006-03-10T13:09:00.000-08:00

Life with two children is interesting, never boring and always busy! Elliot is almost 3 months old. Claire is now 25 1/2 months and as busy as ever!!! Brian stayed home six weeks and we got spoiled! Being home alone with two takes patience and a constant mantra of "this too shall pass." Okay, sometimes it is easier than others, but it's hard to remember that during the tough times! Thank goodness for family and friends close by! That's all for now! Claire's pulling on some cords that go to something related to our laptop. Never boring!!!

2006-02-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Claire's 2 year appointment. She's in the 75% for weight, 90% for height and 97+% for head circumference. We know she's going to be a tall girl...5'10 1/2" if she doubles her height! Wow!

As for the rest of the exam, she didn't do so well. The doctor recommended books or toys to get her comfortable with doctor visits. She had suggested this before and we never invested in educational material... So far she's never had an ear infection or needed to go to the doctor other than her regular appointments so it's hard to get too worked up about it. Claire was obviously fearful of the painless instruments used for the exam. It was stressful for all of us!!! Please, God, don't let her get in some major accident that requires she need to see the doctor more than usual! And help us to learn how to help her reduce her doctor anxiety!

Elliot is 6 1/2 weeks old and weighs around 13 lbs. We took the liberty of weighing him at the doctor's office. He's growing fast and is a good eater!

The rain keeps coming. We had a break on Monday and then again yesterday. We had a nice visit from the birds since we refilled our bird feeders. For the first time ever, we had two red-winged blackbirds come to feed. I love their song (or call?) and whistle.

Tomorrow we're bringing the kids in to visit Brian's work. He's going back officially on Feb. 13th. It's been great having him home. Great for me, for the kids and for Brian too, I think... Real life will begin when he goes back. I'm curious to see how I'll do! Right now, even with Brian home, I feel like I've been living off coffee! Fortunately, the days are becoming longer and the daylight will help energize me...

2006-01-23T21:13:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm on hold with a frequent flyer mile number going on 18 minutes now. I shouldn't complain if we get to fly for free when we want, it'll be a good thing... We're going to Montreal... Brian has a conference and I can practice my French!!! Elliot is coming with us (he's free) and Claire will stay with Grandma. I hope we get a free seat!!!

Today has been one of the best days since Elliot's birth. The sun came out. I think that helps...

2006-01-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

I seem to like to write on the 4th of each month...

Well, it has been a very busy month and continues to be busy with a new baby in the house and an almost two year old who likes to keep busy to say the least. Luckily, with my husband home for an extended break from paid-work and the holidays full of family, the first few weeks of Elliot's life have not seemed as overwhelming as they could have proven to be without as much help!

Elliot was born at 2:42pm on December 17th weighing 8lbs, 3oz and measuring 21 inches long and 14.5cm head circumference. I'm glad we induced when we did! He's healthy and so far pretty mellow. He cried more quietly at birth than Claire did, I think. I heard once that the first cry is usually a good indicator of what their personality will be... Who knows if it's true, but it's an interesting theory.

I'm trying to think about some sort of routine to my life, but for now we're still in a loosely put together schedule. This will change so for now I'm going to try and enjoy it. I watched "Bringing Home Baby" yesterday on TLC and the mother seemed to freak out cuz they changed the baby on the bed and not on the changing table... Funny, cuz even though we have a place in the kids' room to change him, Elliot has rarely been changed there. It's okay to change him wherever in my book, but that's an aside. What the mom said that really made me kind of laugh is that it was only Day 1 at home with the baby and she thought that by Day 2 they'd have some sort of schedule. Maybe she just meant about the changing table, who knows, but as a second-time mom of going on three weeks now, I know schedules don't usually get put into place for a very long time... If you follow what the baby wants or needs more than what the parent wants, schedules don't seem to be that strict. That's my opinion anyway.

Happy New Year. Let's have a great 2006!!!

2005-12-04T17:30:00.000-08:00

It's December so our son can come anytime now! Our due date is the 15th and we've decided with our doctor to induce on the 22nd if he hasn't come by then. I was ambivalent about induction with Claire, but when it went so easily, I had a change of heart! I'd like it to be natural this time, but I don't want a Christmas baby or a too big of baby either!!! Claire was induced three days early cuz the doc thought she might be big. She was only 7lbs 7oz so not big at all. Delivering a huge baby doesn't sound like fun even though I know I could probably do it. One week late will produce a pretty big baby I can imagine.

I packed my hospital bag awhile ago, but it's not yet in the car. I packed baby Elliot's bag this morning so tomorrow both bags will go in the car...just in case!! We're all excited to meet this little guy!

I'm making a chicken pot pie recipe tonight. I've never made it before. Easy, but lots of chopping. I always modify recipes and usually I get lucky!

As of last night I'm no longer treasurer! Hooray! That's a big weight off my shoulders.

I'm going to try to sustain my Shaklee business for the next few months and pick it up again in March. The baby and my family is the priority right now. I love doing Shaklee and hope my friends will get on board eventually or at least try some more products, but for now, I can take a little break.

Our Christmas tree is decorated and the majority of our Christmas shopping is done so now all we get to do is wait for the contractions to begin so we can zoom off to the hospital!

2005-11-04T13:23:00.000-08:00

Today I had a not-so-pleasant encounter with a McDonald's mom! I'm venting a little here so hang in there with me. Let me know if you can relate or if I'm totally clueless!!!

Since it's a rainy day and I'm cleaning our oven, I decided to take Claire and I to lunch at a local McDonald's that has a play area. Claire's still on the young side so this was our first time to explore and I expected she'd get a little bumped around by the bigger kids and that was okay with me. Well, after playing very well and for quite awhile I heard her crying. Another mom started scolding her kid for pushing another boy. I assumed it had something to do with why Claire was crying so I started to say "It's okay, I knew she'd get fall down eventually." She snapped back "I'm not talking to/about your kid, I'm talking to my kid. I'm not watching your kid!"

I was wrong to assume she cared anything about my kid! I'd be sad or concerned if another kid was crying even if my kid had nothing to do with it. Seems like common decency to me. I got no empathy from this lady. I even, naively, tried to say something later...why I bothered, I have no idea, and again she said "I'm not watching your kid." Based on how involved she was in her grown-up conversation with another mom and how little she really was watching her own kid(s), she's the last person I would have liked to have keeping an eye on my kid.

It was about time for us to go anyway so I put Claire's socks on and carried her out of the play area without giving that lady a second glance. I felt weird by the entire experience. I thought that there will be many more encounters like this in the future so I should just prepare myself. I felt sorry for her lack of calm and her abruptness to become defensive over something I wasn't upset about at all. She was upset I said anything to her! I was trying to console her... for what, I have no idea. She apparently had it all under control. Whatever.

I said a little prayer for her and thought she must be someone who really needs a break, needs to relax and let go of whatever tensions she's holding onto. We've been watching "The Lion King" tons and if I could do it again I would have told her "Hakuna Matata," but I bet that would have set her off in another direction I would have wanted to avoid... So my prayer for me is that I can "let it go" too. Tomorrow will be a fun day and I'm going to focus on what I need to do to be ready for our Open House! Focus on the future, Sarah, not the past!!!!

2005-11-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

My final, pre-baby Shaklee Open House is this Saturday! I have three other vendors coming besides myself and my mom who do Shaklee. A Mary Kay rep will be here, Ronda with haloframes will also be here (again!) and another friend Judith who does cards and her business is called Stampin' Up! I'm hopeful for a crowd and good sales to all!

Claire is sleeping still and it's 10am. She had a rough night due to her cold. Brian attended to her sleepless 90 minutes last night and I know he must be exhausted! I was only awake with her at most 20 minutes and she wasn't really awake.

Monday I had a scare! I saw some blood in the toilet in combination with having to urinate constantly. We went to the hospital. I was contracting, but it was due to my bladder infection. The meds are making me feel much better. I've never had a bladder infection before now so being 34 weeks pregnant and really not knowing what labor feels like (I was induced last time with an immediate epidural), I was concerned this baby was coming too soon! Not the case! He'll wait until December after all! I hope!!!

Our church found someone else to be Treasurer so I'm excited this month is the last time I'll be writing these checks for a long time, if ever!!!

2005-10-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

I've been neglecting to talk about Claire lately... I keep thinking I need to journal about all the phrases she's saying these days, but this list goes on and on! She's almost 20 1/2 months. At Gymboree the other day she said "tummy bubbles" so clearly that many of the mom's were very impressed. One woman even said "two words together, wow!" I thought...this morning she was saying "zippadeedoodah" as clear as could be too, but I didn't say anything. I'm finding girls to be more verbal than boys of the same age, but Claire is way more verbal than girls her own age too... It's fun to hear her starting to form sentences. Last week she woke up and saw a cracker and pointed saying "cracker over there see." I've been writing her name on this Fisher Price magnetic draw and erase board and so I'll overhear her saying "C-I-A-I, Claire" to herself. This morning she put her stuffed bumble bee on the arm of the couch, then pushed it down and then retrieved it and repeated the process saying "fall down, again, okay." How fun to observe her playing on her own and narrating her every move!

What will our boy be like???

2005-10-15T14:19:00.000-07:00

Last week on Oprah, Uma Thurman was the guest and the topic of working vs. stay-at-home moms came up. I have been stewing over a comment a "working" mother said to the camera. She said "not everyone has the luxury of staying at home" and this phrase has been bothering me all week. Maybe it was how she said it, her tone of voice...but my thought was..."What's so luxurious about staying at home?" At the end of the segment they interviewed a "stay-at-home" mom and she said when her friends complain about not being able to be at home she replies that sometimes she wishes she could "go to work." This comment I could relate to because it's true that when you stay home you're always at work. Being home with your child means you create more housework for yourself: more dishes, more crumbs on the kitchen floor and rug, more food preparation, more dust from just being in your own home all day, and I'm sure the list could go on...

So staying at home means you're working, you're just not having the luxury of getting out of the house and in a way escaping from the challenges of being with your own child/ren.

Now I do have a home-based business. No, it doesn't provide me health benefits or anywhere near the salary I had as a full-time teacher (at least not yet), but it still is work. However, even if I didn't have my Shaklee business I'd still consider myself a "working" mom and not a woman living in luxury as the Oprah working mom suggested. It interesting how people interpret their own situations differently.

Most of the time I think Oprah does shows about how great stay-at-home moms are and how it's "the hardest job in the world," but Uma Thurman, a working mom, was showing the other side to some degree. I do agree with Oprah's conclusion that at least we, as women, now have the choice to stay home or go to a job whereas before it was automatically assumed we'd stay home. Women need to feel comfortable with whatever choice they make and not try to say one place/role is better than another. However, I think part of human nature means we'll never be totally satisfied with our choices, but hopefully we'll be grateful for choices in general.

2005-10-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we received some great news! Our house in Salem (History: Brian bought the house a couple months before we met, then he moved to Portland shortly thereafter, so he rented it out for a year, then we lived there a few months after we were married and commuted to Portland. Needless to say we didn't like the 110 mile round-trip commute five days a week, we tried to sell it on our own, then found a property management company called SB Properties who found tenant-buyers for the house and took care of repairs, collecting rent and all the other stuff that's not so fun to do as a landlord) sold!!! So we're relieved we don't have to think about that house anymore.

To celebrate, we bought an over-the-stove microwave! For my birthday present, Brian spent a few hours installing it! I love it! Now I have more counter space!!!

Claire & Brian are sleeping and I'm going to sneak off to church...

2005-09-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

Wish list:
Microwave to go over the stove (so I have more counter space!)
Bench for the entry way to store shoes and have place to sit
Wall-mounting, matching reading lamps for our bedroom
Someone to come to my house, pick out paint colors and paint a few walls in our white-walled house
Weekly cleaning service for a year that only used Shaklee products of course!

Earlier today I thought I had a gigantic list, but as I sat down to write, I couldn't remember what I wanted! Of course, my list could be longer, but I have a lot to be thankful for!

I turn 30 on Monday and I just don't have tons of energy for planning, thinking about and/or organizing a party! Maybe 33 will be the year of the big party. For some reason, I'm excited to be 33. If I'm healthy, I will be happy and thankful for every birthday! This birthday (as with #28) I'm pregnant so I'm going to take it easy!

Claire is sleeping! I went to coffee at Longbottom Brewery with a few friends this morning. My neighbor and her husband who have a son Claire's age watched Claire for me. When I got back, she wanted to cuddle! She fell asleep quickly. It's a rainy day and she's still getting over her illness so that might explain the early nap, but I was surprised. It's been almost two hours and I haven't heard a peep.

Well, I'd better get ready... I am having a couple people over tonight to make swiss cheese fondue. I'm excited to make it and hope it tastes good! I'm kinda in the mood to just sit and enjoy the rain!

2005-09-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

October 8th is our next Shaklee Open House! I'm anticipating a very large showing of people! We'll have another one in November and then, hopefully, our baby will come before then! Wish us luck!

Claire was sick with a fever Tuesday afternoon through early this morning. She's doing so much better compared to yesterday! We held her practically all day. Fortunately, Brian, my mom, my sister Anna & I took turns holding her while she slept and her fever went up and down! It's good to see her on her own two feet again! The last time she was sick was in December at Christmastime. We're very lucky that she's not sick more often!!!

2005-09-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

Today I subbed at a local high school. The call was for French, but when I got there and read the lesson plans I realized it was half French and half IB History! So instead of speaking French all day like I had hoped, I got to read about Gandhi and discuss political cartoons. History is not my strong suit. Apparently this teacher was in the Peace Corps so I think French is her secondary subject... Just a hunch. Overall, it was a good day, a change from the normal routine.

Tomorrow we're going to a wedding of one of my dad's cousins in Seattle, WA. It'll be a long day, but hopefully, Claire will do okay in the car. Sleep, you ask? Not my girl. I hope our boy sleeps a little more than she does, like his daddy!

2005-09-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, it was my fault after all. Hopefully, the problem is fixed now, but I have to wait a couple days to be certain. After 45 minutes on the phone I was exhausted. I think I talked to a total of four people to get the problem answered... Fortunately, Claire was patient and let me talk and focus.

This type of situation makes me question my priorities. I know that service fees aren't the end of the word, yet, they signify in my mind a bad grade, an acknowledgement that I did something wrong. Who knows why I let it bother me so much. I'm not feeling up to psychoanalyzing myself as profoundly as is needed to answer that question at the moment, but I'm sure it'll come to me sooner or later.

For now, I'm going to relax, finish addressing thank you notes to my Shaklee customer members and a few new customers and drink some cold, refreshing juice! I'll probably figure out what's for dinner too at some point!

2005-09-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

Urgh! I'm so frustrated! I got two emails from a credit card saying the online payment I tried to make got rejected by my bank... Of course, by the time I got the message, my bank was closed so I have to wait more than 18 hours to find out what the heck went wrong. Yes, I have money in my account. Did I enter the number in wrong? Unlikely! I haven't used this account to pay a bill online before so maybe that's the issue, who knows?!? I won't know until tomorrow! I wish our credit union had 24 service! Oh well... no one ever said patience was my strong suit! When I try to be so careful, especially when it comes to money, bill paying, etc, it irks me when a fine is at risk and I don't think it's my fault! If it is my fault I will deal, but fortunately, I'm usually on top of things!

Urgh!

2005-09-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

Last night we told my parents and sisters the name we think we've chosen for our baby boy. Now we need to tell Brian's family. Afterwards, I'll post it for all to see. So far, no one has guessed it, but I usually don't give them much of a chance to offer a guess before I blurt it out. Hopefully, this name will stick... Claire was going to be Emily until Brian found out that it was a top 10 name for the past six years or so.

I got my monthly Shaklee bonus check this month! It was more than last month's check which is good! I'd love to double it by the end of the year so I have to keep working my business as best as I can! I like sharing better health with friends and family! Hopefully, they will refer customers to me and eventually more and more people who'd like to earn money from Shaklee too...

2005-09-15T14:44:00.000-07:00

I'm trying an experiment to see how long Claire can last before she finally falls asleep for her nap. So far it's been 45 minutes. I hear noise, but no crying... She's going to have to train herself to fall asleep for me in the afternoon like she's been doing at night for her dad. At an hour I think I might just break down and go rock her, we'll see.

Yesterday I had my seven month doctor appointment. Today I found out I'm iron deficient. So instead of only taking 18mg of iron they said I need to take 325mg twice a day! Wow! That's a jump! Maybe boys take more iron out of a mother's body than girls? So to get started on my new regimen I snacked on some leftover steak I made the other night for dinner. More water and fiber will be needed to counteract the effects of all the iron in my system... Fun times!

Well, I think we decided on a name yesterday for our soon to be born baby boy. It's six letters long and has three syllables. Feel free to comment on your guesses. However, we may find a better name yet, who knows?

A couple of nights ago we got an email from my grampa in Hunters, WA who was having computer problems. Brian answers these questions, of course, but Grampa also shared a story about how he barely missed hitting a cow and her calf that managed to wander up onto the country road. It was dark and he has more trouble seeing at night these days. After reading his story about how grateful he was that he had prayed to God to help him not hit anything on the ride home, I realized that (and yes this is a tangent) I think it is very cool to have a grampa, aged 79, who writes emails pretty regularly. How unusual is he?

2005-09-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

Right now we have eight items for bid on ebay and the auction closes in less than six hours. It's always fun to watch the bids rise. Hopefully, we'll make a little money, but so far some of the bids are only at 1 cent... It's a fun marketplace.

While browsing ebay, I noticed some Shaklee items for sale. I don't think it's the way Shaklee wants distributors to sell their products, but I'm not the expert on the rules of Shaklee selling. I'd rather interact with the person in person instead of online when selling, but I know the world is changing to become more and more on line!

Tomorrow is our seven month appointment for the baby. I think I've gained about 20 pounds so far. I gained 35-40 with Claire so it seems like I'm progressing about the same. I have to drink Glucola tomorrow...yummy (not really!)... Actually, I don't really remember from last time what it tastes like! This pregnancy is progressing so quickly. I'm trying to wrap my brain around the fact that our fairly regular routine now is about to go out the window! We'll learn as we go, I'm sure! All three, no four, of us...

We went to the Portland Zoo today. It was a quick trip, but fun... I think Claire was overwhelmed by all the animals and people! Next time, she'll probably enjoy it more. We'll have to make sure to go before the rain comes!

2005-09-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

My Shaklee Open House came and went without too much business. I had anticipated more people coming than actually showed up! Oh well... That's part of being in business. There's still 19 days left of September and I'm determined to have a good month still! I did get my house nice and clean which was a bonus.

Tonight we had a great salmon, halibut, steak and lots of vegetable cookout at my mom & dad's. My dad caught the fish in Prince Rupert, Canada on a trip this summer with his parents and one of his brothers. It's good fish and it makes me wish fishing was part of our regualar hobbies. For now, we'll enjoy the bounty others catch.

The baby boy inside has been very active lately. It's a good thing! I'm feeling very pregnant now. I had my doubts between the third and forth months when I wasn't feeling too sick, wasn't showing and had a dream that the baby had died. My worries have long gone about that. Now I'm concerned only with making it to December before our baby is born. No particular reason, really, just want it to come after 38 weeks.

I've noticed more hits for Project Mahma on different search engines have led people to my site. I'm sure MAHMA stands for more than one thing, but I'm interested in finding Shaklee Project Mahma people in the Beaverton, OR area. If you're reading this, make sure to comment!

2005-09-08T15:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend I'm hosting another Shaklee Open House. Last month it was at my mom's and it was a combination Open House with a Homemade Gourmet rep and a friend who paints her own photo frames for magnetic surfaces. On Saturday it'll be only MOI represented and the turnout should be great. I invited several neighborhood ladies that I've met a few times so hopefully we'll all get to know each other a little better too. In addition I sent out a mass email and a few flyers to people who don't (for some reason) yet have email! Amazing... We'll see how it goes!

Before I mentioned that I'm no longer nursing my daughter who is now 19 months. We stopped about three weeks ago. I think if I let her nurse today she'd do it, but I know I have more energy now that I'm not making myself available to her in that way. It's cute and a little sad that she still thinks about nursing, if only briefly, so I wonder how she'll cope with watching her baby brother nurse in December.?. My mom asked me if I'd let Claire nurse and I honestly hadn't thought about it. It seems complicated, not to mention tiring! I remember how much time little babies spend nursing and I don't think I'd ever leave the couch or rocking chair if I nursed two kids so I don't think we'll go there again. I did enjoy nursing Claire and obviously she enjoyed it too, but it's nice to have a small break (and wear a regular bra for a change) before the next baby comes!

My husband and I are trying to decide on a name for our boy. Any suggestions? His middle name will be Raymond after my grandpa who died in March of 2003. Our last name starts with a K so the last two intials are _RK. Please help!

This Sunday I'm helping to organize a baby shower for our friends who just adopted a baby boy. He arrived six weeks early and caught them way off guard. They had to fly to the other side of the country, then wait until he got heavy and independent enough to travel. Our church is great. They've given our friends lots of support and they are anxious to meet the new little guy. Claire learned quickly at our first visit with them that she has to be very gentle when approaching him or a big person who might be holding him. At our second and third visits with him it was clear she'd learned fast!

2005-08-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

A week ago, I completely weaned Claire from nursing. She was exactly 18 1/2 months old and since I'm expecting our second child in December we decided to wean her a few months before the new baby arrives. For a week or so prior to the final nursing date, we had only been nursing for five minutes a day in the morning right when she woke up. So, giving it up completely wasn't too difficult physically, just a little sad.

Claire can count to 20 now in English and in French! We are amazed by her abilities. Of course, all parents should be since we, hopefully, helped her become smart.

I understand why in my students' parents' eyes their children could do no wrong. However, a 1 year old is a lot different than a 16 year old!!!

My Shaklee business continues to move along! I'm always looking for new, interested customers and potential business colleagues, but so far, I've had more of the former. Shaklee's products are great, though, especially their vitamins, so I have no trouble recommending them to everyone!

Brian starts school at the end of September. It'll be good for him to go, but a little harder this time around with a child and another on the way. We'll support him though as he supports us in many ways!

I'm looking forward the the changing colors of the leaves and cooler temperatures! I turn 30 in October and I'm looking forward to that too!

2005-07-22T13:27:00.000-07:00

Today I had a great talk with an old college friend who started her own business this spring called HALO FRAMES . She and I are going to do an Open House together. She'll bring her frames and I'll display my Shaklee products and people can browse. My Open Houses, although not highly populated, have been successful. In July I made $150 in 90 minutes so not a bad day's work.

2005-07-21T14:30:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday we found out that we're going to have a little boy! We are so excited and of course a little nervous because both of our extended families are overloaded with girls! We didn't have a preference either way so I'm glad we have a healthy baby!

Claire and I are still weaning. It's going well. I've limited eat feeding to 10 minutes about three times a day and she's naturally making it less on her own. She's increasing her whole milk intake which is good and her amount of food is steadily growing too. Next Monday night Brian is going to start doing all the night activities for Claire without me. So I'll clean the kitchen or take a walk or go do an errand. Hopefully, we'll be fully weaned by August, but we'll see. It's going better than I thought it would so I'm thankful for that!

My Shaklee church fundraiser is going slow. I have one order in so far, but I'm optimistic I can get a few more!

2005-07-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a few people interested in Project MAHMA by Shaklee have accessed my blog! If you're interested in knowing more and you live in Oregon, or anywhere for that matter, post a comment and I'll get back to you with more info! My sponsor lives in Wisconsin so it's definitely possible to learn about this business even if you're not in the same neighborhood as your business colleagues!

Regarding my Shaklee business, I've decided to donate 10% of my July sales to my church. I'm thinking of doing this sort of thing a few times of year to help out our small Methodist church, but that's with hopes that my Shaklee business keeps growing!

Cheers to creating healthier lives!

2005-07-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

We are starting the weaning process. It's been a week now and it's actually been going very well. Instead of nursing her pretty much whenever, we've limited it to three or four times a day for a period of 10 minutes maximum. My OBGYN suggested I stop nursing by my seventh month of pregnancy and I'm right now at 19 weeks (almost five months). I made the choice to finally start trying after a period of about an hour where she'd fall asleep so I'd detatch and she'd wake up screaming. After trying this three or four times, I was frustrated. I immediately found this book my mom bought when she started breastfeeding me over 29 years ago called Nursing Your Baby by Karen Pryor.

One thing I really took from the passages on weaning your toddler and tandum nursing was the idea of resentment. She wrote that your toddler can sense being resented (for wanting to nurse even though the mother might be tired from nursing the newborn) and that children can tolerate being told they can't nurse better than knowing the mother resents them for wanting to nurse. A similar idea stated that if either the mother or child started resenting the process of nursing, it wasn't healthy to continue. Hopefully, she found studies to prove this, but even if not, I can understand her logic.

I enjoy nursing Claire, but I've noticed I've been tired and do get frustrated when she hangs on forever. Now I lay her down on her bed before her nap and at night after ten minutes of nursing often times when she's awake.
She's seemed to have accepted that we're nursing for shorter periods and that I'll tell her no when she asks to nurse because it's convenient. I've had to substitute more meals of real food for her, but that's good for me even if it is more work. We're going to make it, but it is an interesting and growing process for both of us...

2005-06-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

Ninety minutes into Claire's nap, I've accomplished a fraction of the things I wanted to do during her usual two hour nap. I find myself saying or thinking "when she's asleep, I'll get that done." But, what about vacuuming? Too noisy... It's hard to count what I did get done instead of the long list of things yet to be done. I'm sure this sounds familiar to some of you out there!

I am enjoying the smell of homemade chicken stock simmering on the stove. Did I have to do that? No, but it's stock made out of real ingredients instead of what's supposedly in a can or box of pre-made. The fingerprints on the wall with have to wait, as well as the needing to be cleaned carpets...

Brian got accepted into PSU's PhD program last week and he returned the admission acceptance letter the next day. I'm glad he's excited about going! It will be busy, but worth it in the end!

Time to tend to my soup!

2005-05-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

Two very busy months have gone by! Now remembering what all happened is another story!

The most important thing that happened is that we found out we're pregnant. Our baby is due December 15th so Claire and the newcomer will be about 22 months apart. We are very excited!!!

Our dear friends, Jason & Jodi, had a baby boy on May 20th. My mom, Claire & I got to see him hours after he was born. He's a handsome child and his parents are in-love with him of course!

My Shaklee business has been going well. My first two months were the best cuz I was buying all sorts of stuff for my home "Shakleeizing" as they say. I took May a little slower due to funds! My mom, who is also in business with me, and I are going to Wisconsin to my friend's wedding who studied in France with me in 1995-96 and she's also the one who introduced me to Shaklee. I'm looking forward to seeing a different part of the country!

2005-04-05T07:57:00.000-07:00

Today is Claire's 14 month birthday! Wow! She has been changing so fast, especially in the language department. I still speak French to her so she's developed quite a little French vocabulary...train, bain, pain, banane, pomme, froid, chat, ballon...just to name a few. Of course, her comprehension is unbelievable.

One of her favorite activities right now is to have her daddy read to her, book after book after book, several times a day. It is so cute! I'm so glad he takes the time to pick her up on his lap and read to her!

This morning I decided to look on the web at houses for sale around where we live. We've promised to live in one place for five years because our dear family is tired of helping us move! (4 times in the first 2 years of marriage!) Houses are expensive, of course, so it'll be good to take that time to save up!

Last month I started my own Shaklee home-based business. I'm my own best customer so far, but things are moving along nicely. I hope to put Claire into the French-American School for a few years at least while she's young so I'm hoping to pay for it with my Shaklee income. Again, I have a couple years before that'll happen so plenty of time to build up my business. Thank you to my family and friends who have helped me get my business up and running! My sponsor and her sponsor have been great resources too!

In February I subbed way too much for my level of comfort so I only subbed two days total in March and that wiped me out. I'm realizing I don't miss teaching more and more each day. It's nice knowing I don't have to go in if I don't want and to be extra choosy about when and where I work. Claire & I can do our own mini-French lessons in a less structured environment.

2005-02-20T16:39:00.000-08:00

Today I went to church alone. The message was okay. The pastor talked about our former pastor some and how it's hard to transition from one pastor to another. It seemed odd that she's bringing this up now, considering she came July 1st, but anyway...she is a little odd. She admitted to not having the same personality as our other pastor, to not always saying things the right way or with the right tone of voice, but she wanted to make it clear that she loves us and our church, that she as well as the old pastor love the same God. I don't doubt her love of God or her good intentions. However, she still seems to say the wrong things at the wrong times....

Last month she and I had a fairly honest conversation about what I had found distasteful in our interactions. One of them included her asking me about money reimbursements. I am the Treasurer, but I do not decided how the money gets spent and when. Therefore, I asked her to direct her finance questions to the finance committee chair instead of myself...not because I can't answer her questions, it's that I'm always stressed out when she asks me... Why am I so stressed? I asked this question of myself today, when her memory deceived her and she, yet again, asked me when she was going to be reimbursed...instead of asking me why the rest of my family wasn't with me or how I was doing today or any number of other questions she could have asked me cuz as she said she is sorry that all she ever seems to talk to me about is money... Truthfully, I want to be able to answer her confidently that we have all the money in the world and then some to be able to pay her back as well as her inflated salary. Somewhere inside me though I feel as though I'm being called to personally give more to our church!!! We give a decent amount... Yes, we could probably give more, but I imagine others could too probably. However, that is not the question she's asking me... I am taking our church's money numbers to heart and wish I could change our financial situation single-handedly....ha!

Does anyone else out there understand my feelings or have I just had too much coffee today??? I was soooo close to having a good day at church today and if I had exited the sanctuary by a different door I may not have been asked this provacative question.... But alas, I am left to delve once again into my discomfort with our pastor regarding money and etc.

On a lighter note...I'm excited to be starting a new business with the Shaklee company. I'm making it a goal of mine to donate 10% of my earnings to my church so here's to happy money earning...

2005-02-13T22:51:00.000-08:00

So I'm taking a break from the Purpose Driven Life to read Stalking the Divine. It's a good book so far. I'm reading it because a church book reading group chose this book and a lady asked if I'd like to read it for the March 3rd meeting. I enjoy imagining what it would be like to be a nun. I was definitely not called to lead that life, but I think of the Sound of Music and wonder what leading a life of quiet, prayerful service would be like! I had a guy ask me if I'd thought about being a nun once. That was kinda weird, but it was during a period of my life when I wasn't dating anyone and had been on a retreat or two in a catholic setting. I have always known that I wanted a family and so being a nun never really stuck as a realistic occupation.

I subbed three half-days during out of the last six school days. This week I'm going to take a break I think. I subbed ESL, French and Band. I enjoy subbing in subjects I feel competent in! I bragged about my sister Allison to the middle school band students telling them that she's in the Oregon Crusaders. None of them had heard about it, but maybe they will someday.

I'm about to start my own business. It's with the Shaklee company. A friend of mine, Kelly Hribar, a fellow study-abroad classmate in Lyon, France, told me about it and I've checked it out... I think I can do it. It'll be a little extra income (hopefully) selling everyday products. I may even get a paycheck just by buying shampoo and detergents for our own use. So if anyone out there is interested, check out the link and maybe we can all earn a little extra income. Who knows? For a $20 start fee, there's not much to lose.

On another note, I was liturgist at church today... I wasn't expecting to read so much when I originally signed up, but then again, I didn't realize it was the first Sunday of Lent when I was recruited. Oh well... I did fine.

2005-02-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

Dear Grammie & Grampa,

I just wanted to thank you again for having us at the Ranch in January! We had a great time and really enjoyed the cold, winter weather. It looks like that's the only winter weather we'll get to experience this year because we've had pretty warm weather here. Brian especially liked the close community feel of Hunters and was surprised that a teacher who didn't know us called your home and gave a road update on the day we went home. That was a very thoughtful gesture. In a bigger city, I don't think we rely on one another like that as often.

We felt welcome at your church, people remembered us, and that felt great too. Our church has that same feel too, fortunately. When we come again in August with my parents, I'd like to bring my violin and play some of the hymns. I'm not volunteering a solo, but it'd be fun to add another layer to the music team...

I've been reading The Purpose Driven Life this past week. I really have enjoyed it. I told my Bible Study group that I'd been feeling as though I was in a spiritual funk. Not sure exactly how to describe it lately, but I guess I haven't really had a "thank you, Jesus" moment in quite awhile. Things are going pretty well at the moment and I am grateful to God for that!

One of the things that has come to my attention after reading the book lately is the idea of "eternity." The author made me realize that I spend a lot of time thinking about the here and now...goals for me and my family, this lifetime, instead of focusing on the next life, getting excited about it even! I know it's hard to comprehend what it'll be like exactly. My brain doesn't always like to think in abstract terms, but I know God has put a desire in my heart to see heaven some day and so I want to focus on that rather than all the joys and struggles of this life.

Well, I know I've rambled on for quite awhile, but I've been wanting to share some of those thoughts with you both recently, so I finally did it!!!!

We have been using the exercise bike! It's loud, but we're able to read the tv subtitles during our exercise to pass the time. Thank you again for that gift too!

Claire is having her 1 year old birthday party at my parents' house on Friday. It's amazing that she's one, walking and saying more words every day! We enjoy her so much! I'm so glad I get to stay home with her and my love for her grows each day!

Brian is very busy at his work. Recently he learned that the retirement system is going to cost the city a lot more money this coming year so he's not looking forward to sharing the news that the police can't hire or buy as much as they'd anticipated. He doesn't like to be the bearer of bad news even though it isn't his fault!

I pray that both of you will have a great day, month, few months. We're looking forward to seeing you again this summer. My mom sounded intrigued about the ferry ride so maybe we'll have to go back to Mary's and treat you this time!

We love you very much!

Sarah

2005-01-31T13:44:00.000-08:00

So as I finish the first seven short chapters of The Purpose Driven Life I am left with several thoughts, but the main thought is the sense of eternity. It's so easy to get bogged down with the physical, that it's hard to think beyond this life. What will eternity and heaven be like? Yes, we can read about it in the Bible, but I know we can't fully comprehend heaven as God wants us to. I'm okay with having the details be fuzzy.

2005-01-26T18:01:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been feeling spiritually disconnected. It could be related to our pastor situation or it could be many other reasons that don't really matter. I'm on a quest to find an "aha" moment internally about my understanding of God, my faith and how I want to keep living from this day forward.

I'm in a Bible study group that began in January of 2001, before I met Brian! There are four of us who were there from day one who are still attending. We had a great bonding meeting this Monday night...just so happened we were the only four in attendance out of six or seven current members. We decided to read A Purpose Driven Life. Yes, I know it's very commercial and mainstream, popular Christianity, but I don't care right now. I'm willing to read it to see if I gain any understanding about my faith. I'll update you on what I find out, if anything. Actually, I'm optimistic I'll glean a couple morsels of thoughts to chew on...

On another note...Claire and I are doing swim lessons again. The kids are so cute. The teacher's much better than last summer and I'm grateful that she's teaching instead of the other lady who couldn't sing in tune. I'm very sensitive to out-of-pitch anything! I'm glad Claire likes the water.

2005-01-06T14:55:00.000-08:00

Credit cards stink!!!! We just got a finance charge that was way more than I expected for no good reason. I tried to call twice to get it reduced or removed without success... No surprise there!!! I need to let it go, but I hate having to pay them money I didn't purposefully spend! I usually don't have to either, but I fouled up this time. But it's a mistake I'm not willing to pay $29 for without a fight. We probably won't renew it next time. My own little revenge...

Claire is sleeping. She can walk pretty well now! She said "drum" and "balloon" yesterday and sings "a b c d..." without any melody, but it's pretty clear that's what she's trying to say. She got excited when I started singing it back to her at least!

Will it snow tonight? I hope so!!!

Next week I'm going back to my former work to listen to some former students present an oral project in French. It'll be weird to see them and evaluate them (well, kinda) again. Some of them were in a class of mine that didn't go too smoothly a couple years ago. It'll be good to see how/if they've matured and how I relate to them now as a mother of a baby girl, instead of a full-time, tired teacher.

Our pastor actually gave a good sermon last Sunday. She said she's always been around alcoholics growing up and probably still today. I can't relate to that, but I was very happy she shared with us. It's been six months and she hasn't shared that publicly within a sermon. I hope she shares more about who she is within the next six months.

2004-12-31T07:51:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've blogged. Christmas has come and gone and tonight is the next big bash! Soon it'll be Claire's first birthday so we're looking forward to having a small family gathering for that occasion!

We've been sick in our house since Christmas Eve. We've mainly had colds, but a stomach bug has been hanging around too. Not much fun and not too easy to appear productive. I have a hard time counting resting as being productive...

Lately, (maybe cuz I'm sick, maybe cuz a new year is coming, who knows?) I've been thinking about and reprocessing some experiences as a teacher. It mainly has to do with my former supervisor who I think never really got me and knew how to offer "help" or mentor. I think he thought he was helping, but I didn't see it or take it that way...neither did some of my close colleagues. I regret not having been able to tell him this in an evaluation of him...I know they evaluate the administrators every five years or so. I could have been anonymous, but I probably wouldn't have been. I would have been honest.

I know I wasn't the best teacher, but maybe I'm a slower learner than what he thought the main French teacher should be. I was/am a new teacher...only four full years under my belt. It's hard to focus on the positive classes and days I had when one or two bad classes got so much emphasis. I want to forgive and forget...forgive myself for not being perfect when I shouldn't of had to have been, forgive my former boss/major critic of my work, forgive my students who maybe pushed me a little too far than they knew was right.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me!

I told Brian the other night that I think I'm going through a phase of transition still between being a teacher and a mother. I have been a mother for less than a year and I've spent around five years being a teacher, counting student teaching. Maybe I don't like the feeling of being inexperienced at anything. Gaining experience takes time and I know I'm often impatient.

When I think of my teaching days, it's not always happy thoughts, but more a sense of accomplishment. I don't think I'm craving a steady teaching job again. I do enjoy being home more or less on Claire's schedule, but it is hard. Some days I don't feel I get anything done. It's hard to have peace with that. I was just reminded of that quote--the focus of the story actually--from Le Petit Prince by St. Exupery that says:

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."

All the effort I'm putting in to raise Claire isn't measurable like a grade, a good evaluation from a boss, or a clean desk. I have to give up wanting to see results. For a goal oriented type of person it isn't easy!!!

God give me strength, peace of mind, and courage to live in the present, not the past and not even the future! Help me to be thankful for everything I have which is more than enough! Please bless this new year for my family, friends and myself! Amen!

2004-12-06T13:05:00.000-08:00

Today the three French Christmas cds I ordered from amazon.fr arrived. I've listened to most of two of them so far and like them better than the last one I ordered off of Ebay. I enjoy singing in French to Claire and know a couple French songs by heart, but this'll expand my repertoire. The only thing I'm wondering about is where the charge is on my Visa? It hasn't appeared yet so I hope I entered the right info.

I signed Claire and I up for a complimentary Gymboree play and music class for crawlers. I'm not sure we'll do the 14 week deal, but it might be fun. I'll decide after the free class...

Saturday we got our Christmas tree. It's the fourth time Brian and I have gotten a tree together! We've gone to the same place each time. On that same day, Claire took too steps on her own! Once towards Brian...step, reach... and once towards me. I haven't seen her do it again, but by Christmas, I think she'll be taking a few more steps with courage!!! Amazing...and only 10 months.

I got most of my Christmas cards out in the mail today which feels very good!!!

2004-11-30T18:16:00.000-08:00

Today was a slow day. After the busy Thanksgiving holiday and having Brian home for five days, I think I'm feeling the low from the lack of stimulation. Yes, Claire's busy and can keep me busy, but I want more...

I'm looking forward to subbing again, but so far I've only received one call. It was for today, but since it was the last day of the month I would've had to pay sub dues for the entire month even though I'd only work one day. I can wait.

Next weekend we're getting our Christmas tree, then the fun will begin of trying to keep Claire away from the pretty ornaments. We'll see how that goes. I'm excited to go find our tree and hope the place we go has enough. The owners are a couple of brothers in their 80's so they're not planting any trees anymore.

2004-11-16T08:16:00.000-08:00

I'm still sick... I thought I was over it and woke up yesterday with even more sniffles and a sore throat. On top of that, Claire hasn't slept too well the past couple of nights. Maybe I'm hearing her more since I'm not sleeping as deeply due to this cold or maybe she's a little sick too. Who knows?

I'm on a group email list that started from women attending the local La Leche League, but basically it's a bunch of stay-at-home moms who are very smart and opinionated about the best ways to raise children. I don't contribute much to the conversations, but one that's a hot topic right now is vaccinations. Most of them don't vaccinate or go to the traditional pediatricians. They've chosen naturopaths and opted out of getting the "harmful" shots for their kids. I know they could give me all their rational, but my pediatrician last time I was in said that some parents give their babies a piece of fish which probably has way more mercury in it than one of the vaccines, but then refuse the vaccine. Oh well... If Claire's ears fall off or something, maybe I'll reconsider with Baby #2. No, we're not pregnant (at least not that I know of).

I'm now watching Claire go up and down a few steps. She's getting very confident and skilled at this activity!

I realized yesterday that even though I might complain about being our church's treasurer and some details that go along with doing this job, I do enjoy looking at the numbers and checking to see what was deposited or which checks have cleared and when. I also like making sure the checks get mailed in enough time to pay the bills but not too soon. I'm serving God and our church with my interest in money and numbers. I just need to remember when the account balance gets a little low not to worry too much cuz God will pull us through. He always seems to come in and save the day even if we don't realize it at the time.

Christmas time is coming and I want to get creative about gifts without spending too much. This year we'll dealing with having Christmas on a one salary budget. I can't say we were always the most generous at Christmas in the past (I'm really not keen on shopping or giving just the right gift. I'm more of a practical gift giver, I think.), but this year we will be more aware of setting a limit. Nevertheless, I'm very excited to have Christmas with a 10 1/2 month old for the very first time ever!!! That is the best gift in the world!

2004-11-09T08:48:00.000-08:00

Being sick is no fun! All of us got something that shows its symptoms differently on each of us. Oh well... This too shall pass.

Hooray, the election's over! My thought is, whatever was supposed to happen, happened regardless of whether I liked the outcome or not. If the next four years go by as quickly as the last four years we'll be voting again tomorrow.

Claire can go up stairs now very well. She's still working on the coming down part. She just turned 9 months and got her top left tooth a day before on November 4th. She's been practicing balancing while standing and not holding onto anything. I predict she'll be walking by Christmas if not Thanksgiving!

2004-10-31T08:01:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween! It's a beautiful, foggy morning. The squirrel is eating our sunflower seeds, yet again. Brian and Claire are sleeping in. I cooked bacon and it smells great! We're having friends over tonight for Halloween. We still need to carve our pumpkins, but we've still got time.

I've started listening to Christmas music already. I'm in search of French Christmas music, but honestly haven't been trying to hard to acquire it! I know a couple French songs by heart from my teaching days and our on-the-road French carolling. That was fun...the other classes enjoyed it and thankfully, my students enjoyed getting the exercise. My voice was always a little hoarse after singing so much with all my classes, but hey, it was better than forcing them to learn something academic two days before Christmas break. We practiced our aural and oral skills as well as tried to boost our confidence.

That's one thing that learning French in the USA is not like learning Spanish. It's rare to find a French-speaking native to practice your French with outside of the classroom. However, I don't know how willing the Spanish-speaking are to converse in Spanish with a non-native-tongue-Spanish-speaker. Maybe someday I'll find out.

We've considered putting Claire into the French-American school for pre-school, but the cost is high... We'll see... I think collecting French music and watching DVDs in French like we've been doing already will count for something.

My sister had a music concert last night. She's an awesome percussionist. I'm glad she's still playing her music cuz she's so good and I can tell she enjoys it even if her school's band doesn't play the hardest of music.

Claire played with a little boy twice her age (1 1/2 years) last week and he had all these noisy toys. She really enjoyed them and I realized our toys (thankfully, for my sake) aren't that noisy yet so yesterday we bought her a noisier toy. I hope she likes it and that it was worth the $18.

Time to eat some bacon and make some fresh coffee.

2004-10-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

Communication is a tricky thing. I wish I knew how to talk and listen to everyone exactly as they needed whenever...yet, I'm a realist and know that's not always possible... Urgh.

Lately, I've been worn out. I don't know why. Maybe Claire's been needier lately or I've been getting less sleep or it's the shorter days...I don't know why. Brian gave me a nice break this weekend by taking care of Claire at night and taking her to the store with him. I caught up on some sleep and got in a couple of brisk walks too. I didn't realize how much a stroller can weigh me down!

Claire crawled up some stairs today like she's done it all her life. She hasn't been practicing that much so I was surprised at how easy it was for her.

She's napping now so I'm going to work on a couple of details I've been putting off.

Thank you, Debbie, for coming over to help me clean today in exchange for a loaf of bread!!!

2004-10-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I subbed at my former school for the first time since I resigned in January. Yes, I still know how to speak French and how to teach, and yes, my former students did seem happy to see me! In an earlier post I vented my frustrations about my former employer's evaluation of my teaching... I still have angry feelings about my last semester there, but I'm glad to know that reality of how I teach is more accurate than his perception (or rather all the parents of the whining children who whined to my employer) of me and my teaching. Urgh!

To sum up for this post's sake, I realized at the end of the day that I am doing the right job right now for me being a stay-at-home mom for Claire. I don't miss being in the classroom, the short, surfacy conversations in the faculty lunch room, having an employer who think they "know best". I speak French well, and I can do it with Claire for now and that's okay with me. The classroom will always be there when I'm ready to go back. Subbing really is the way to go right now, no prepping, no correcting, no taking homework and kid problems home with me...just a little paycheck, eventually.

I was away from Claire only five hours...ideal. If I could get that gig again I would. She did okay, so did my wonderful mother who took care of her, and I survived too. It's a lot easier to be away from her and for others to take care of her now that she can eat food. She loves her Cheerios!

So updates on Claire: she crawled up three stairs three times yesterday. She's pulling herself up to standing all the time and crawling a lot! We tell her no everytime she tries to go under the computer desk where there are lots of electrical cords and plugs and anytime she reaches for a cord anywhere else. My fear of being shocked is dictating this habit. She's doing an "sss" sound. Her hair is definitely looking red too. Well, the little angel awakes so I must sign off for now.

2004-10-18T11:46:00.000-07:00

Claire slept over six hours in a row last night for the first time in a very long time! It felt good to realize I'd slept continuously for that long too. It is very rare, but I'm hopeful it'll continue! She woke up at 9am and now is taking her morning nap! I'm enjoying the lazy morning too!

Brian talked at church yesterday about the Bible. He basically said you can't take it all literally, but he said a lot more than that. Hopefully, he'll publish what he said on his blog. My sister who goes to a Presbyterian church and thinks everything in the Bible can be proven as fact and if we don't follow everything it says we're going to hell came to here Brian talk. She's conflicted in what she believes, actually. I can't say what I said before was true about her. I'm praying for her, even though she thinks we don't pray at our house...

I'm reading a Richard Russo book right now called Straight Man. It's funny. I'm thinking this'll be a more uplifting book than The Nanny Diaries which I just finished!

It snowed in the Cascades this weekend. Winter is coming and I'm so excited for Christmas, yes, even before Halloween. Here's a picture of Timberline on Mt. Hood. Hooray for the holidays!

2004-10-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful, foggy, fall day. I just finished a book The Nanny Diaries yesterday. The book left a bad taste in my mouth, but I'm grateful my children will never have to be put in that situation where their primary care giver (the nanny) is fired for no reason one day and leaves without saying good-bye to the child/ren. Horrific!

Claire hasn't been sleeping well for several nights. I don't know what to do. I worry more about Brian than me cuz he has to go to work whereas I can zone out at home if I need to! Claire seems to function fine during the dayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (Claire's contribution to my post). If anyone has tips for helping nursing babies sleep more sounding thru the night please comment!

2004-10-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

Claire is eight months today. She's been saying "na" and "da" and combining the two sounds. "nada" & "dada" have been said a lot. I'm still waiting for "mama." Other accomplishments are crawling like crazy, pulling herself up to standing and she even went up a couple of stairs yesterday! Wow!

2004-10-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

It's a beautiful, crisp, sunny fall day and it's my birthday! It's hard to believe I'm 29 today. After church we're going out to lunch, then tonight out to dinner! Next year I'm going to have a big party!

Since my last post, I flew to Boise with Claire for five days to visit my cousin, her husband and her three kids. They are Claire's closest (in-age) relatives even if they are second cousins. I could have written from there, but I didn't want to hog the computer and most importantly, write something they might think was offensive!!! I love my cousin, but I don't agree with all of the rules of her household. The main clash I'll name is the fact that her four-year-old son kept telling me "we can't say that" every time I said "oh my gosh." I think I used that expression to mean "really?" most of the time and quite frankly I don't remember. When he corrected me once in front of my cousin she said nothing. I asked what could be said instead and she said "oh my goodness" and something else I think. What I wanted her to say to her boy was that adults don't always have to do what kids do. Instead she named me and her sister as two people who were always saying the wrong thing in front of her kids!!!! Yikes!

I wonder how I'll be in about 5 years when Claire and probably another child of ours can talk. I hope I'll be a little more tolerant...

Well, I'm going to go try to enjoy my birthday!

2004-09-21T21:47:00.000-07:00

In Memoriam.

I wanted to let you know that our cat Gus (the black one) got out of the house last Sunday about a week and a half ago now. I'm starting to accept the fact that he's not coming back. I was in denial for a week, but now I keep thinking about how sad I am! I've had him for 4 1/2 years so I (we) are grieving. Brian sad he was the best cat he's ever had...he spent a lot of time in the beginning trying to find him and I just thought "silly cat" hoping he'd just come meowing at our door, but no...he's in cat heaven.

Here are some fun things I'll miss about Gus: his loud purr, how he liked to hide under blankets and the edges of our couch slip covers, how he'd noisily wipe his paws on the litter box after he'd finished doing his business waking us up at night (preparing us for life with a baby), his head butts, the time he fell fifteen feet from a ledge to the floor by our front door, how he loved the birds, how Joy (our other cat) and he would play and groom each other, how social he was always showing himself to our company before Joy would, the way he'd come running when we opened cans of tuna (and any canned food for that matter), how you could only rub his head or his tail if you didn't want to get bit, his cute meow and etc.

Thanks for listening.

2004-09-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

It's curious how much traffic I received from Brian's last post (Cheating and Spiritual Renewal) because he used my name as a link. No, Brian has not cheated on me! He sure did make you think, though, didn't he? Brian is very faithful to me, Claire, and etc. Shame on you for thinking otherwise! Thanks for coming to my blog, however!

Today we went to breakfast at The Peppermill in Beaverton/Aloha area. One of the owners speaks French and she's very friendly. We love their breakfasts...my favorite is their "Peppermill Hashbrowns" that have cheese, bacon, onions, and green peppers in addition to the normal hashbrowns. Yummy!

After our delicious meal, we bought a double-decker, fly-through bird feeder, more sunflower seeds and thistle. The birds are already going to town! I love watching them. Claire did a face plant on the hard floor in the store but quickly stopped crying when I played some of the numerous varieties of wind chimes in the store. Great store by the way, The Backyard Bird Shop in Beaverton.

Next we bought Claire some socks at Old Navy. We couldn't resist buying some Halloween attire. We bought an adorable fleece pumpkin hat...the biggest size they had cuz she's got a nice round head on her shoulders..., an outfit with an orange shirt and black pants that says "I love my mummy" below a picture of a mummy on the shirt, and some jack-o-lantern socks. Very cute! She'll wear the pants much more than at Halloween and the hat'll work until Thanksgiving! Very fun!!!

Okay, I could ramble on more, but I'm tired and should really try to nap.

2004-09-16T21:32:00.000-07:00

Today we had a busy day! My friend Dinah, her almost one year old son Logan, Claire & I went to the Portland Zoo, then we visited with friends of ours from Eugene, OR who have spent the past two years in Moldova with the Peace Corps. Wow! It's amazing two years have gone by already. Dinah wasn't even pregnant when we saw them last for their send-off party.

We are all friends from the McKenzie Study Center that I've written about before. What a day. Our babies (and Dinah) are now fast asleep. It was refreshing to see them again and to remember my college days (well a year and a half) living at MSC. Jack Crabtree is a teacher at MSC, has four kids, his only son was one of the two halves who went to Moldova. He was there this evening and I've always appreciated his teachings. I think I might go to Eugene soon, I'm craving some alternative theology...not so much in the church format that Brian's seeking.

Does anyone else out there have any connection to MSC?

2004-09-15T10:01:00.000-07:00

Brian wrote an interesting post today called Doing Church. Since this post is very personal to me, I have to agree he put my feelings into words... I like the idea of having home churches. In a way, I've been having home church through Bible studies since I was in college. In a sense I have been a minister as long as I've been involved with these study groups. All the members minister to me, to each other. Maybe if one of us went through some formal training then we might see that person as more of an authority on the Bible, but I like how it's set up now; discussions are the authority.

Gus hasn't come back yet...

2004-09-13T13:53:00.000-07:00

The birds were getting ready for the big storm that is now here. By big storm I mean a typical September day with rain and cool temperatures to help the leaves come down. By birds, I'm talkin' nuthatches, chickadees, finches, American goldfinches, ground sparrows (I think), and for the first time ever, a squirrel. It was quite a morning!

We had something sad happen yesterday...Gus, our 4 1/2 year old black cat escaped from the garage. He's normally not allowed in the garage but got in somehow, hid and when we opened the outside garage door he got spooked and bolted. I think he's hiding. We have the garage cracked so he can hang out there. When we moved he got scared and hid under our bed for two days so that's probably what he's doing. I'm trying to be positive! If he's gone for good it won't be the end of the world. Poor, silly cat.

Someone at church said that Claire has magical eyes yesterday. I think it's true!

2004-09-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

She did it! Claire crawled this morning! My friend Dinah and I saw her do it! I didn't believe it yesterday when Brian saw it cuz I didn't see it, but today I believe it!!! Hooray! She did four or five consecutive, coordinated forward movements. She's just over seven months. Our child is going to be so smart, of course!

2004-09-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

Brian wrote an interesting post today responding to someone who disagrees with him about why Kerry's an okay Christian and it's okay to disagree with some positions of your church. This is a long standing argument that won't ever be resolved probably, but you can find some of the drama here at Brian's Sept. 10th entry.

It's hard to believe that tomorrow marks the third anniversary of 9-11. Brian and I weren't married yet. In fact he'd just moved to Portland and started his current job exactly three years ago today. I remember feeling such grief that day. Who could do such a thing? Did I immediately think we'd have to go to war against some other country? No. I felt sad for the families of the lost ones and disbelief that anyone could care enough about anything to purposefully crash huge planes into the World Trade Towers. Just shows you how little I choose to believe about our humanity.

On a different note...I heard Claire speak something that resembled how you ask questions in French with her voice going up in pitch at the end of the "word." Who cares if the word didn't mean anything. She's learning a speech pattern that isn't very English-like. During our visit to Hunters, my aunt heard her babbling and said it reminded her of French. Could be. Today's a French day. I have a Celine Dion CD on in the background singing her mainly French, but some "franglais" songs.

Claire still hasn't crawled yet, but it's coming!!!

2004-09-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

We returned from a long weekend at my grandparents' Ranch in Hunters, Washington. (They don't seem to have an official website YET.) It's a very small town with a lot to offer, a campground on Lake Roosevelt, beautiful hills, a small public school with a great football team this year can all be found in this small town in Stevens County. My grandpa, a successful retired businessman with Rena Ware, bought the Ranch with around 2500 acres when my dad was in high school. Each summer and some weekends they'd go out there to work the hayfields and help out with the livestock. They lived in Spokane the rest of the year. It was always my grandpa's dream to own a cattle Ranch so he realized his dream. Now there isn't much cattle there and my grandpa leases out the land so others can grow and harvest their own hay--altho he did it himself until he was 70 years old.

This was the first time Claire got to see the Ranch. Brian & I have gone there for the past three summers and we love it! Besides the occasional trip on the lake, we can play darts, ping-pong and pool in their basement. My grammie loves to feed us well too. I feel a little guilty as she spends most of her time before and after meals in the kitchen, but when I told her how I felt she said, "I'm just happy I still can cook and clean. A lot of people at my age (82, I think) can't." I hope Brian & I are as optimistic, kind, faithful and determined to live life as they are when we are their age!

So Claire is about to crawl. I know I keep saying that, but really, last night after a long 8 hours in the car, she scooted in what looked like a coordinated fashion, then fell to her tummy. Cute!

2004-09-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

My friend from Eugene, Nancy Scott, who wrote the article I mentioned in my last post told me about chicory. She went to college in Lousiana where she became addicted to it even though it doesn't contain any caffeine. I'm going to order some. I've been drinking a lot of coffee lately, it'd be good to supplement with something healthier.

Brian's out buying a little life jacket for Claire, then junk food to satisfy our sweet teeth. What a great guy! Claire cried for a couple seconds then went back to sleep. Better go check on her just in case...

I noticed I'm getting a lot of hits from Brian's blog. He's the profound writer... I don't have enough patience to write long entries. I hope I offer some interesting reading for the few visitors who found my blog :-)

2004-09-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

The lunch at my former work was great. There were three other babies who came, all were two months or younger. Claire at 6 1/2 months seemed so old in comparison. The mothers talked about how it's hard right now for them and I do remember that! Now, Claire can occupy herself which makes a big difference in my mental sanity. I'm going to see a couple of them again soon. They will become working mothers in October and November...just part-time, but still, I feel sorry for them. However, that is the way of the world right now. Life is expensive, careers take priority over family, unfortunately.

I was touched by the principal holding Claire. She held Claire to her face and I could see Claire relax exactly the way she does when my mom holds her and rocks her to sleep. It was very touching.

In a dream last night, a former boss who gave me some trouble the last semester I taught apologized for bringing his concerns to my attention. It was wishful thinking on my part that he had seen the error of his ways, that he had overreacted... Unfortunately, he probably will never apologize, and I'm not sure that I need him to, but I still don't think he had a very good case against me.

Every month I get a newsletter from a Christian group based out of Eugene, Oregon called News & Views. The McKenzie Study Center is a group of five or so think tanks who study, talk on and write about the Bible. This month the article was called "Waiting" written by Nancy Scott. She talked about how she has to wait for God to see him working, much like one has to stop and wait by tidepools to see the life that lies within. I appreciated the metaphor and love tidepools!

As a student at the University of Oregon, I lived at "the study center" for a little over a year, attended the Tuesday night talks, and made great friends. Even though I haven't been to Eugene in probably three years, I think about the people I met there often and am determined to get there again someday.

On a different subject again...Claire babbled a bunch today. I listened to her through the baby monitor as she played in a different room and thought about how it would be fun to record her speech for her and us to relisten to someday.

2004-08-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I'm going into Jesuit at lunchtime for a reunion of babies. Yes, most of the June & July babies will be at school with their moms & dads who (some) are taking the beginning of the school year off for maternity leave. It's an inservice day, actually today is too. I'm so glad I don't have to go to work. Brian & I have made it possible for me to stay home. Everyday when he goes to work I thank him (even if not out loud) for going to work so we (Claire & I) can both stay home! We are very lucky!!!

Last night at a women's group through our church Aloha UMC, I shared with the group and sort of realized as I was talking, that the end of this month is a painful anniversary of something I've written about before, but don't really want to go into again. I sent out a prayer request for compassion and love for us and the person who is most deeply affected by the anniversary. Sorry to be so vague, but those of you who have talked to us in the past year probably can figure out what I'm talking about. Anyway, I am grateful that I know God's love, forgiveness and can find peace through Him during the dreary days.

On a lighter note, we're going to Seaside, OR this weekend for the Hood-to-Coast festivities. My dad's running again (he's run it ever since I can remember). I wanted to run part of a leg with my husband, but neither of us were able to get into shape. My knee bummed out on my in early June and still isn't completely well (IT Band yuckiness). Oh well, there will be another year. This time we'll just play. My mom thankfully booked a room in Gearhart a long time ago so we could actually have a place to stay. The coast is a madhouse this weekend.

My uncle is playing in the headlining band on Saturday night, but I forgot the name of his band!!!

2004-08-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

I was reminded of my first year of teaching by an encounter with a neighbor. She lives two doors away from my parents' house and has a daughter. I taught her daughter one year and caught her plagerizing. Actually, what happened was her mom, thinking she was being helpful, edited a first draft to perfection. The girl turned it in without seeing all the changes her mom had made and I called her on it. The mother had taken French of course and was showing off for me disguised as helping her daughter. The mother is an English teacher at a different private catholic school. Why her daughter doesn't go there instead of where I taught makes me think she enjoys being away from her mother, but that's only a guess. So the mother thought I was too harsh on her daughter, of course, but attributed her punishment to the fact that I was a first-year teacher. Boy, did that bug me! What I couldn't believe is that another teacher thought it was okay to do her child's homework without consequence! I hope I'm not tempted to do the same!

Remembering this story and other adventures from my first-year teaching reminded me about what a great year personally I had despite having a tough professional year. That was the same year I met and wed Brian. Yes, we moved quickly into marriage. It was the year of 9-11 and we thought, life's too short, why put off our wedding. Fortunately for us it has worked out. We're happy, we have a baby, we're comfortable. Life is good. I'm glad it's 2004 and not 2001!

2004-08-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ahhh...the Olympics. They bring back memories of childhood when I was going to be the next Mary Lou Retton because really, how hard could it be? Now, when I watch gymnastics, I have knots in my stomach anticipating their falls, twists, broken arms, etc. Well, my dreams have changed, but I still do dream.

Tonight Brian & I are going to go on a date. His dad and wife are going to babysit while we go see a movie. I hope Claire goes to sleep or doesn't fuss too much for them. Sue, Claire's step-grandma I guess we'll call her, is going in for surgery tomorrow, a lumpectomy (sp?) for breast cancer, yet she's willing to come to babysit. What a lady! What movie will we see? Spiderman 2!

I'm working on the treasury stuff for our church. I inherited somewhat of a mess, but it's not as overwhelming today as it was Thursday night when the books/files were handed over to me. God give me strength! Amen.

2004-08-12T08:37:00.000-07:00

Claire can sit for long periods of time now, but I'm finding that she's no longer satisfied just to sit and be proud of that. Now she wants to move, bending over until she falls over. I love watching her lean over until she falls over on her stomach. Most of the time she cries even though falling seemed to be her goal! She's looking around now from the comfort of her boppy, trying to figure out where she wants to go. What a profound creature!

On Tuesday we had "Mommy & Me" swimming lessons with around fifteen mothers and children. Claire did well especially because she liked seeing all the other babies aged 6 months to 2 1/2 years. I'm glad she didn't care that the water was on the cool side!

We tent camped this weekend and boy was it cold in Lapine State Park near Bend. Fortunately, we spent the second night in a cabin a couple from church shared with us. It had two queen beds and a heater! Both nights it froze so we were glad to have a real roof over our heads night two. Next time we tent camp we'll be at the beach so the temperatures won't be so extreme!

2004-08-05T08:18:00.000-07:00

Drinking coffee, enjoying the cool August morning (for a change) while Claire sleeps, I realized I've been reading mainly religious Blogs because of my husband's influence in that Blog circle. If anyone knows any Blogs out there I might like, pass them along, and leave a comment...please...

On the Today show yesterday, Dr. Laura was interviewed by Campbell Brown (sp?). She wrote the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands that I read and now has a new workbook out, I forget the name. She said their's a section in it called "the proper care and feeding of wives" probably to appease all the woman out there who just read the title of the book and thought it must be a ploy to get women to become lower than dirt so their husbands can walk all over them. Campbell said as much when she commented that the book is trying to get women to become more traditional. I didn't think so...I thought the book made a lot of sense... If you want a happy husband don't try to change him, or ask him a million times if he remembered to do something (life won't end if he doesn't do it on our schedule) or make him think you're really unhappy about everything!!! I liked what she said that men want their wives to be happy so any complaining we do really doesn't show that we're happy. The chapter on sex wasn't that significant compared to the other ideas in the book. I thought it was funny that Campbell interviewed her (guess it was better than Matt Lauer) because I doubt that lady has any time for any kind of relationship with anyone other than her job--poor gal!

I love being married and want to stay that way.

Go Dr. Laura! I read her website occasionally and sometimes try to win a free book. I mainly like to listen to her talk to unfortunates on the phone and try to make their lives a little easier. She doesn't talk about God or her religion really, but she does encourage good values, that I appreciate.

Off to Sandy to visit a Grandma & Aunt of Claire's and then a little two month old baby girl of a former colleague. Can't wait! I made her soup so hopefully she'll enjoy it. We had some soup made for us by a family at church after Claire was born (I'm going to organize more people to do that in the future if any babies are born in our small church community). It was so nice to not have to think about food for a couple days...

2004-08-02T15:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and today Claire talked the most ever! Yesterday at one set of grandparents' house, she held long, sustained exclamations about what, we'll never know. This morning in her high chair she did the same. Whenever she does this, I feel as though she's singing and the song "Sing a song of six pence, a pocket full of rye..." comes into my head so I sing it. Yes, random, but she seems to like to listen to the song!

I think I gave her too much food too fast today because she threw up again... She's almost six months. For awhile I thought the food was going okay, but then, she started gagging, usually well after mealtime, and then upchucked. We took a break from food for several days and she threw up anyway, but two days did pass recently without event, so I started food again last night. Today, all over the couch...Yuck! Poor girl, another break from food may be in store. I think, by her facial expressions during feedings, that she prefers veggies to fruits... Good girl!

I photocopied recommendation letters and my teaching license to get ready to send to the school districts (only 2). I'm debating whether or not I really want to sub this school year, but at least I can say no if I decide I absolutely will not, and if we want a few extra bucks, I can always say yes. I will probably tutor too, but not too much!!!

It's nice to have a day at home for a change. Claire's napping again, I baked cookies, a chicken's roasting in the oven... That doesn't happen everyday. Maybe I'll write my grandma a letter. I have one faithful hand-writing penpal, and it is refreshing to put pen to paper at times. Peace.

2004-08-01T21:28:00.000-07:00

August already! Our July was toooooo busy!

My husband forwarded me a link to Jen Lemen's blog. She gets a lot of traffic probably because she has a lot more time to write than I! Who knows?

Tuesday I'm having lunch with a two former colleagues, one who just had a baby girl and the other's daughter just had a daughter, same age as Claire. I'm excited to meet the daughter and her daughter here from Japan, but I'm sure Claire is cuter :).

2004-07-31T09:58:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday Noemie, our French student, left to go back to Lyon, France. She was here six weeks and we, my parents and husband, bonded with her! I had bonded with her eight years ago when I lived a year in Lyon, France, but it was great to watch her get to know my family. She was showered with love especially by my mom who was tired and a little ready for her to leave so she could have her normal alone time instead of being the hostess with the mostest. Brian, Claire & I want to return to Lyon (well, Claire's first trip) before Claire is two years old cuz it's a lot cheaper!!! Noemie spoke a little French to Claire, but I'm excited to have her see, smell, taste, and hear France for herself!!! A bientot Noemie et sa famille!!!

2004-07-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

Wednesdays this summer, I'm tutoring a high school student in French. It's a pretty easy way to make some money $20/hour and it's great working with someone one-on-one instead of the classroom setting. I think I might continue this later on throughout the school year, especially if some students want to come to my house!!! This girl lives about 25-30 minutes away so it's quite a trek for Claire and I, however, I can't complain because it's only a short period of time.

Last night I was asked to be the treasurer for our church! A woman recommended me who is presently the treasurer, but going through some hard times. I enjoy paying bills, sounds weird, but it's true... Brian thinks I'd enjoy being an accountant cuz I am very detail oriented. I had thought about becoming an accountant so maybe I will someday.

I want to open an ING savings account a friend of ours told us about. I'm waiting on details about it, but it'd earn us a few extra pennies on our savings without requiring us to sign our lives away!!!

Tomorrow we leave for family camp at Wallowa Lake for the weekend. I'm excited to have a restful time once we get there, however, I'm praying that Claire will cooperate during the five hour car ride!!! Last car ride didn't go so well, but she did produce a tooth the next day so I think that's why she was so uncomfortable. Thank God for babies!!!

2004-07-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

Today I visited a former colleague of mine who just had a baby girl on July 2nd. Her baby's name is Sophie Marie! Beautiful... She weighs 8lbs and looks so tiny! I can't believe Claire was that small once. I saw the fatigue in my friend's face as she remains housebound to some extent based on the baby's sleep and eating needs. Claire at 5 1/2 is able to entertain herself which gives me and my body a break from entertaining and holding her. It's amazing how fast they change! Ohh...she just caught sight of the cat, a few more seconds of time pass before she needs me! What a blessing this baby is!!!

2004-07-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

Has it really been almost a month since I last wrote??? Wow! This summer has been very busy! Highlights have been that Claire got her first tooth yesterday at 5 1/2 months old, she's sitting up practically on her own for long periods of time (this morning for about 20 minutes in the corner of the couch despite her second cousins bouncing on the couch!!!). She ate some rice cereal mixed with breast milk this week and also sat in the shopping cart three times. It's over, she's no longer a baby, might as well pack up the diapers!!! Well, not quite, but it feels that way since she's crossed these important milestones!!!

I read my husband Brian's blog entries for the past couple of days. I'm impressed with how much he writes, at such depth... My brain doesn't think that way very often, or if it does, I don't feel the need to find the words to write it down.

Gotta go. My mom needs a ride from the mechanic's home. I wish she'd just buy a new car instead of financing her mechanic's retirement, but he is a nice guy! Still, new cars are awesome!

2004-06-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

Over the past week Claire has managed to grab her toes everyday. She has also started talking or raising her voice at large groups of people, mainly strangers, without fear. At home she started saying or kind of humming "baaaa" while spitting bubbles. The last two actions were great accomplishments in her language development. Another interesting noise is a grunting sound when she wants my attention that has a rounded tone like when we say "uh huh" to signify agreement or understanding.

For three nights we hosted a French student, Noemie, who was my host sister eight years ago when I studied abroad in Lyon, France. I took her to the beach, we watched three different movies, I made her hot chocolate mixed with milk (cuz I knew she used to like that as a seven year old and still does), she played with Claire, we listened to little French songs and riddles on a CD that she brought for Claire and that she used to listen to as a little girl in France. She had to translate some of the words for me. We were busy, but we rested too. It was hard to know if she was having fun, mainly because she's so quiet. Noemie will be in Portland until the end of July, and I'm looking forward to spending more time with her.

2004-06-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

I just watched the hour and a half funeral for president Ronald Reagan as Claire slept in my arms (now she's on the couch beside me). I was touched by many of the speeches, especially former President Bush's sense of humor as he related humorous stories from Reagan's life. One of the t.v. announcers said that President Reagan's favorite song was Amazing Grace. I was reminded of the funeral of my maternal grandpa, Raymond Gellatly, in April of 2003 where I played Amazing Grace on my violin. Everytime I hear that song I think of my grandpa and tears fill my eyes. Funerals are very poignant regardless if one believes with the politics of the deceased.

2004-06-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

Last night Claire laughed at me repeatedly for the very first time in her life! I was looking forward to that moment and wasn't disappointed.