I can't believe it's almost August.... Both kids are asleep and it's 10am. Elliot went down for his morning nap... He sleeps like his daddy. He falls asleep quickly! Claire takes a lot more time to fall asleep and usually wants to eat or drink something before she can drift off to sleep. When she was Elliot's age she was still nursing to sleep. Elliot almost prefers to suck his thumb. He likes me or whoever to hold or snuggle with him while he's falling to sleep, but doesn't need to nurse to sleep. Claire would take (and still does) lots of time to fall asleep. Elliot seems to know when he's tired and doesn't waste any time catching his "zzzz"s.
Lately I've been reading about Enneagrams. It turns out I'm a Seven. Brian is a One. My mom is a definite 2 (maybe an unhealthy 2?). I'm trying to figure out what Anna is. I think she might be a 6. She and I haven't been connecting lately. She's busy with massage school and working on her feelings. Sevens (that's me) tend to not like to focus on feelings.... I keep busy so I don't have to sit with my feelings.
Inner chatter! That describes me. Also, failure to complete projects, not sure what I'm doing is the "right" thing so I do many things to keep my options open... ie. Subbing (I want to add another school district to my one this school year...only French, but still another school to put on my resume), Shaklee business, Mom.... Order of importance not revealed in that last list.
The Enneagram book The Wisdom of the Enneagram The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types is very enlightening. It recommends that meditation would be good for me. I have thought that, but letting myself be with my feelings and thoughts for too long seems almost impossible! Perhaps when our kids are older and I get more unbroken sleep I will give it more of an honest try.
This book really came to me at the right time. I've been struggling with some feelings about what happened in my past...I can't know everything that happened in my past, but it's helping me explain why I am how I am. For example, I've been saying to Claire a lot lately "I'll take care of you." She is 2 1/2. When I read that Sevens' "Lost Childhood Message" is "You will be taken care of," I was pretty surprised.... I guess somewhere along the line my mom or dad didn't take care of me how I needed to be taken care of. I can remember a specific time when I was in my pre-adolescent years, but it probably happened between between 2 and 4 years of age too. Very interesting.
It discusses how I might keep busy so I don't get trapped thinking about my pain. I think this is true. I know my parents both loved me and I was provided for, so not to dwindle my own experience or troubles of youth, so I had it pretty good, probably better than most. However, it is very fascinating how much truth and clarification this book is able to provide for me.
Well, I'm done sitting with my feelings for now.... I want to read more and yes, I should probably get those dishes put in the dishwasher!
I was a French teacher for four years, a life-long dream achieved. Now, I'm taking a serious break to raise a family. I go to a United Methodist Church regularly with my husband, daughter and son. For my future ideal job, I'd love to travel the world eating in great restaurants and write food reviews!!! Someday I'd like to live on the Oregon Coast and be a translator for French tourists! However, in the meantime I'm earning a substantial income with Jewels by Park Lane, subbing & Shaklee!