Tuesday, October 31, 2006
First of all....I just spent way too much on Shaklee products in preparation for 3 bazaars and 1 home show coming up soon! I love all the products so it was hard to narrow it down!

Both kids are sleeping......ahhhh....I sit down to write....then my mom calls asking to pick up Krispy Kreme pumpkin donuts for tonight....yum.... Oh yeah, I was going to write something profound....well, maybe just write something!

I remember that I originally started this blog because my husband was really getting into blogging and I felt left out! Also cuz I had a daughter under 1 year old and needed to have an outlet to connect to a bigger audience than just my baby!

Then in an effort to establish a professional link to my current life as a stay-at-home mom and my former life as a French teacher, (and try and fulfill more of our state's inane requirements for educators) I decided I was going to document my daughter's verbal patterns and progressions.... Well, let's just say that the title of this blog "Ramblings" just about covers the actual topic of this blog.... professional? not really.... unfocused mind chatter? yeah, pretty much :-)

The other day my friend Ronda (aka Rolanda and her blog is linked to my blog) wrote a post on Oct. 29th about having kids and also choosing not to have kids. It made me think back to the time when I didn't have kids as I often do, although it's a little foggy at times. Other times it is as clear as day. I remember traveling to France and through Europe on my own. Now we talk about going, but it's hard to think about how little toddlers would handle the culture shock--although they'd probably do better than some adults!--and hours of walking around cities. I think having kids requires me to think differently....Maybe instead of a city trip we'd plan to stay in a rental home that had a yard, a smaller city with the same feel of foreign culture, but less walking and fewer cars and crazy bus drivers. Activities may be limited, or maybe just variations of the same, when kids are involved.

When I am tired, it would be nice to know I could count on a full 7-8 hour night of sleep... Unfortunately, I can't count on that unless I ignore crying children (some nights). Fortunately, for me though, I am blessed to be able to rest at home during the day with my kids who are usually mellow and tired too if we all woke up a bunch of times throughout the night.

I'm not sure I quite know how to respond to Ronda's post. I think it's hard to imagine what life will be like with kids before they are actually in your life. I know I had one idea and truly my brain doesn't tend to be the best for abstract thought, but I'd say that imagining how life would be different 20 times a day probably doesn't actually capture the actual changes....am I making sense? Yes, my activities do change when I have a little one in tow...even a simple act of putting on my shirt can seem complicated!...but to have two little ones looking up to me and learning how to say "thank you" or compliments "you did a great, great good job, Mommy" produces feelings in me that are hard to describe.

I don't think parenthood is for everyone. That's fine! And it's good to know that before entering into marriage like "Jerry" from Ronda's post said. I'm grateful for my kids, but I don't think I'm better or worse than anyone who chooses not to have kids.

I totally understand people who choose not to have kids. It is a lot of work that some people don't want or can't handle. For me, I always knew I wanted kids (well, I wasn't so sure about the childbirth part of it all, but it came and went pretty easily...easily enough to know I could have another). I understand the environmental issues and impact overpopulation can have, but I guess I'm not enough of an environmentalist to forfit an opportunity to grow my family. My mom said something I thought was profound.... She said "having kids forces you to be creative in a different way than you would if you didn't have kids." As I said before, activities become variations of the same. It's not that one way is better than another....just a variation. If I believe my mom, I could expand that thought to define myself as not so creative already so I needed to have children to expand the creative side of my brain..... Who knows?

Sunday, October 22, 2006
Yesterday, our former pastor came to our house. I wasn't looking forward to it because we didn't know the agenda or purpose of her visit. She came to apologize for aspects of her personality that may have offended. She also dove a little deeper and said that she had worked on issues related to the fact that she was raised by alcoholics, but that some problem areas were coming back. I appreciated her reflection. I think anyone who was raised by alcoholics must have to work hard every day to figure out what's okay and wrong behavior. In her case, she brought up boundaries. It's true....too many phone calls (in the past), pushing her agenda.

I didn't say much during the meeting. I mainly listened. I think that was the right approach. She was there to apologize and we didn't need to break her down anymore. I have lots of people in my life who I can talk to who I know listen. I'm not sure she would have listened...really listened. I want her to work on herself and not try to fix my concerns. Brian spoke generally for both of us and mentioned one specific example that frustrated him--the way leadership meetings were run.

We had a lot of build-up to the meeting and then nothing much happened. We expected a variety of approaches to come our way, but she opted for the apologetic route. Honestly, it'll take some time to go back to that church and for now Brian's really happy playing the handbells. I'm enjoying reading the Bible again and hearing a good sermon. We're moving on and happier and that's a good thing!

Happy 28th Birthday, Anna (my sister)!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Interested in local government? My husband is and he created a new blog called "Government Matters: But Good Government Matters More." Here's the address http://www.govmatters.net/

It's been a busy couple of weeks, but slow at the same time. It's hard to explain. Today we decided to take a rest day and honestly, I'm still in my pjs as well as the kids!

Next Saturday morning our former pastor is going to come to our house to pay us a visit. We aren't sure what she wants to talk to us about. I think everyone discusses and generally agree on what problems she created at the church, but talking to her doesn't seem to fix anything. Therefore, the congregation is in agreement, but she (probably being told what the concerns are) can't change. So, it'll be an interesting meeting. I hope we can help her in some way....really! I don't like the feeling that we abandoned our church congregation. The members with whom we discussed our departure seemed to truly understand our reasons. We didn't, however, and yes, purposefully, discuss our choice to leave with our pastor. We had tried over the past couple of years, and it didn't help us feel any better about staying. Please pray for us!

Monday, October 02, 2006
Tomorrow is my birthday! I love October, I always have.... I hope it's a great month and so far it is starting out to be an outrageous October!

We like our new church. A member of our old church called yesterday to let us know we are missed and that our pastor said during her sermon, "I know that I have a loose tongue, that is my weakness, and I wish that I could apologize to the people present and to the people who are no longer at the church that were offended by me." I can't say that that is the main reason we left. I can say that it's nice to listen to sermons that spend more time talking about Bible verses and application than how much the pastor is sorry for offending people!!!!
Good thoughts, bad thoughts, personal thoughts...

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Location: Beaverton, Oregon, United States

I was a French teacher for four years, a life-long dream achieved. Now, I'm taking a serious break to raise a family. I go to a United Methodist Church regularly with my husband, daughter and son. For my future ideal job, I'd love to travel the world eating in great restaurants and write food reviews!!! Someday I'd like to live on the Oregon Coast and be a translator for French tourists! However, in the meantime I'm earning a substantial income with Jewels by Park Lane, subbing & Shaklee!

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